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TopFive.com
Serving the Sugar Land area since 1966.
January 24, 2008


~~~ NOTE FROM CHRIS: ~~~

Maxim magazine compiled a list of the best
worst things to happen to men in 2007.

Wonderful. But shouldn't they stick to doing
photo spreads of lingerie-clad starlets and
leave the intellectual heavy lifting to TopFive?


The Top 15 Best Things
to Happen to Men in 2007


  1. Yet another year's worth of Catholic schoolgirls turned 18.

  2. Improved spam filters allow us to imagine fewer people will learn the truth about our tiny penises.

  3. For another full year, the word "vagina" still made us giggle.

  4. Miss South Carolina: a beautiful young woman who posed no intellectual threat whatsoever to *any* of us.

  5. If Scott Baio can knock up a Playmate, there's hope for all of us.

  6. There are now as many patties available on a McDonald's burger as blades available on a disposable razor.

  7. During the second half of the year, airport restrooms were relatively Larry Craig-free.

  8. Two seasons of "Dancing With the Stars" to distract us from all those violent sports.

  9. Jimmy Kimmel continued to prove that even minimally talented, dumpy, doughy, out-of-shape, pasty-faced guys can nail hot, funny chicks.

  10. The day "Queer Eye" got cancelled, those lucky Hawaiian shirts jumped back in the weekend rotation.

  11. Britney Spears became such a raving nutcase that our once-fantasy chance with her is now a legitimate opportunity.

  12. The rising popularity of Ultimate Fighting and MMA brought us one step closer to our dream of being violent howler monkeys with toothbrushes.

  13. Another year gone and Pam Anderson has yet to bio-degrade.

  14. While it took Burger King to introduce it to women, we basked in the knowledge that *our* lexicon has included the word "meatnormous" for years.

    and the Number 1 Best Thing to Happen to Men in 2007...

  15. Old, bald, frighteningly ugly Salman Rushdie rebounded from losing his supermodel wife by picking up a hottie girlfriend half his age within a couple months. And if it can happen to him, then it can happen to any-- HEY! STOP LAUGHING!!



Our ClubTop5 members get to see the
Runner Up and Honorable Mention items
for today's list, plus much MUCH more.

Join today!




Selected from 62 submissions from 26 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:


  • Joseph Moore, Concord, CA -- 1, 14 (31st #1) Hall of Famer
  • Mark D. Sabien, What Cheer, IA -- 2, 5 Website / Hall of Famer
  • Bruce W. Alter, Fairfax Station, VA -- 3
  • Greg Preece, Toronto, Canada -- 4, 8, 15 (Hat trick!)
  • Trish Jensen, Reedsville, PA -- 5
  • Carl Knorr, Devo City, OH -- 6 Website / Hall of Famer
  • Dave Goudsward, Lake Worth, FL -- 7, 11
  • Caryn Kennealy, Glendale, CA -- 7
  • David Zechiel, Lake Forest, CA -- 9
  • David Kass, Queens, NY -- 10, 12 Hall of Famer
  • Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- 13, Banner Tag
  • Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Hall of Famer
  • Lou Reed, Brooklyn, NY -- Ambience   (explanation)

Top5 Bomb

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