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Press butt; rub hands under arm.
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January 24, 2008
~~~ NOTE FROM CHRIS: ~~~
Maxim magazine compiled a list of the best
worst things to happen to men in 2007.
Wonderful. But shouldn't they stick to doing
photo spreads of lingerie-clad starlets and
leave the intellectual heavy lifting to TopFive?
The Top 15 Best Things
to Happen to Women in 2007
- Virginia Slim cigarettes now come in pink, to promote breast cancer awareness.
- Breast feeding in public is not only legal, but encouraged and a way to score some quick cash.
- For yet another year, Matthew McConaughey's handlers agreed he hadn't yet reached a sufficient level of skill and respectability to safely transition into shirt-wearing.
- Perky, sassy, dimpled little Rachael Ray united millions of women in their hatred of her.
- Starbucks' new Peppermint-Midol Frappuccino!
- Bill Clinton appears likely to break Bess Truman's record for hairiest first lady.
- Britney has lowered the bar so much that mother-in-laws no longer dare to criticize one's mothering skills.
- Nicole Kidman is still beautiful, but she's definitely aging!
- Johnny Depp. That's it -- just Johnny Depp.
- Our new, more egalitarian armed forces give women a real shot at dying in pointless foreign wars like men.
- Batteries that last five times longer!
- Final score for health studies released in 2007:
Chocolate is a brain-sharpening, life-extending, sex-enhancing replacement for Zoloft, cigarettes and men -- 37;
Chocolate is a heart-clogging, ass-augmenting, joy-deadening faux promise emptier than Zoloft, cigarettes and men -- 26.
- A new "personal GPS" system was invented to help men find the clitoris.
- Say what you will about the spread of stone-age social norms, but burqas hide cellulite like nobody's business.
and the Number 1 Best Thing to Happen to Women in 2007...
- Women are now getting significant attention in the world of presidential politics. Thank you, Mrs. Kucinich!
Our ClubTop5 members get to see the
Runner Up and Honorable Mention items
for today's list, plus much MUCH more.
Join today!
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Selected from 52 submissions from 19 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- Dave Wesley, Pleasant Hill, CA -- 1 (40th #1) Hall of Famer
- Joseph Moore, Concord, CA -- 2, 6 Hall of Famer
- Josh Sinnett, Bellingham, WA -- 3
- Carl Knorr, Devo City, OH -- 4 Website / Hall of Famer
- Rex Meredith, Palm Springs, CA -- 5
- Lori Petterson, Fairfax, VA -- 7
- Mark Weiss, Austin, TX -- 8 Hall of Famer
- Bruce W. Alter, Fairfax Station, VA -- 9
- Paul Wiley, Westtown, NY -- 9
- David Kass, Queens, NY -- 10, 15 Hall of Famer
- Barb Astrin, Cumming, GA -- 11
- Brad Simanek, Cedar Rapids, IA -- 12 Website / Hall of Famer
- Larry Hollister, Concord, CA -- 13 Hall of Famer
- Danny Gallagher, McKinney, TX -- 14 Website
- Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- Banner Tag
- Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Hall of Famer
- Joni Mitchell, Ft. McLeod, AB, Canada -- Ambience (explanation)
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TopFive.com and The Top 5 List are owned by Chris White.
Absolutely no publishing or reprinting without prior consent.
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