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TopFive.com
"You actually made a list?" (p. 122)
February 19, 2008


~~~ NOTE FROM CHRIS: ~~~

Sure, we're all going to die -- but celebrities
have their images to consider even in death.


The Top 17 Celebrity Epitaphs


  1. Britney Spears: "Reunited with her career."

  2. O.J. Simpson: "*If* I were dead, this is where I would be buried."

  3. Dick Cheney: "Just hanging out here until sundown."

  4. Ron Jeremy: "That lump next to your left foot? That's no anthill."

  5. Abe Vigoda: "Yes, really."

  6. Bugs Bunny: "Ashes to ashes, bunny to dust bunny, Doc."

  7. Johnny Knoxville: "In retrospect, going into the lion cage with steaks attached to my body may have been a *bit* too much."

  8. Hugh Hefner: "If anyone asks, I was an al-Qaeda martyr."

  9. Tim Burton: "Now THIS is cool."

  10. Hillary Clinton: "I *told* you we needed better health care!"

  11. Woody Allen: "I told you Mia had a gun!"

  12. George W. Bush: "Here lies President George W. Bush -- repeatedly."

  13. Bill Clinton: "I can see up your skirt."

  14. Mel Gibson: "The plot next to me is still open, sugar tits."

  15. Nicole Richie: "Finally hit her goal weight."

  16. Al Gore: "The CO2 from this decomposing corpse is offset by TerraPass."

    and the Number 1 Celebrity Epitaph...

  17. Homer Simpson: "Mmmmmm... worms."



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Runner Up and Honorable Mention items
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Selected from 86 submissions from 32 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:


  • Paul Wiley, Westtown, NY -- 1 (9th #1)
  • Bill Muse, Seattle, WA -- 2, 5 Hall of Famer
  • Douglas Frank, Crosby, TX -- 3
  • Brian Daywalt, Wabash, IN -- 4
  • David Kass, Queens, NY -- 6 Hall of Famer
  • Dave Goudsward, Lake Worth, FL -- 7
  • Caryn Kennealy, Glendale, CA -- 8
  • Andrew Hackard, Austin, TX -- 8, 13
  • Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- 9
  • Larry Hollister, Concord, CA -- 10 Hall of Famer
  • Josh Sinnett, Bellingham, WA -- 11
  • Chuck Smith, Woodbridge, VA -- 12 Hall of Famer
  • Daniel Weckerly, Limerick, PA -- 14 Hall of Famer
  • Brad Simanek, Cedar Rapids, IA -- 15 Website / Hall of Famer
  • Bob Mader, Knoxville, TN -- 16
  • Matt Kall, Solon, OH -- 17
  • Trish Jensen, Reedsville, PA -- Banner Tag
  • Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Hall of Famer
  • ...And You Will Know Us by the Trail of Dead, Austin, TX -- Ambience   (explanation)

Top5 Bomb

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