February 19, 2008
~~~ NOTE FROM CHRIS: ~~~
Sure, we're all going to die -- but celebrities
have their images to consider even in death.
The Top 17 Celebrity Epitaphs
- Britney Spears: "Reunited with her career."
- O.J. Simpson: "*If* I were dead, this is where I would be buried."
- Dick Cheney: "Just hanging out here until sundown."
- Ron Jeremy: "That lump next to your left foot? That's no anthill."
- Abe Vigoda: "Yes, really."
- Bugs Bunny: "Ashes to ashes, bunny to dust bunny, Doc."
- Johnny Knoxville: "In retrospect, going into the lion cage with steaks attached to my body may have been a *bit* too much."
- Hugh Hefner: "If anyone asks, I was an al-Qaeda martyr."
- Tim Burton: "Now THIS is cool."
- Hillary Clinton: "I *told* you we needed better health care!"
- Woody Allen: "I told you Mia had a gun!"
- George W. Bush: "Here lies President George W. Bush -- repeatedly."
- Bill Clinton: "I can see up your skirt."
- Mel Gibson: "The plot next to me is still open, sugar tits."
- Nicole Richie: "Finally hit her goal weight."
- Al Gore: "The CO2 from this decomposing corpse is offset by TerraPass."
and the Number 1 Celebrity Epitaph...
- Homer Simpson: "Mmmmmm... worms."
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Selected from 86 submissions from 32 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- Paul Wiley, Westtown, NY -- 1 (9th #1)
- Bill Muse, Seattle, WA -- 2, 5 Hall of Famer
- Douglas Frank, Crosby, TX -- 3
- Brian Daywalt, Wabash, IN -- 4
- David Kass, Queens, NY -- 6 Hall of Famer
- Dave Goudsward, Lake Worth, FL -- 7
- Caryn Kennealy, Glendale, CA -- 8
- Andrew Hackard, Austin, TX -- 8, 13
- Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- 9
- Larry Hollister, Concord, CA -- 10 Hall of Famer
- Josh Sinnett, Bellingham, WA -- 11
- Chuck Smith, Woodbridge, VA -- 12 Hall of Famer
- Daniel Weckerly, Limerick, PA -- 14 Hall of Famer
- Brad Simanek, Cedar Rapids, IA -- 15 Website / Hall of Famer
- Bob Mader, Knoxville, TN -- 16
- Matt Kall, Solon, OH -- 17
- Trish Jensen, Reedsville, PA -- Banner Tag
- Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Hall of Famer
- ...And You Will Know Us by the Trail of Dead, Austin, TX -- Ambience (explanation)
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