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Wait... did you say, "vicarious" thrill, or "bi-curious" thrill?
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September 7, 2007
~~~ NOTE FROM CHRIS: ~~~
Global coffee behemoth Starbucks is planning
expansion into Russia after quietly opening
its first outlet in Moscow last week.
Wonder what a Starbucks in Russia would be like?
Wonder no more!
The Top 15 Differences at a Russian Starbucks
(Part II)
- Your barista blends the drinks by placing the cup on his head and doing a Cossack kick-dance.
- Add-in bar includes sugar, nutmeg, cinnamon and antifreeze.
- Despite advertising to the contrary, the Beluga Frappuccino is definitely an acquired taste.
- Behind the counter: just one barista, one crock pot and one ladle.
- Baristas who spill too much coffee get sent to the Starbucks in Siberia.
- "Try our Chai-coffee-ski with a delicious Rasputinberry muffin!"
- It's spelled Tsarbucks, comrade!
- "You want Borscht Latte with or without boiled potato?"
- Just like Russian mail-order brides, the coffee is hot and steamy until purchase then cold and bitter afterward.
- Music played is restricted to John Lennon and Richard Marx.
- Your pastry options: cabbage scones, turnip muffins and an oddly shaped thing called "Chernobyl Biskotti."
- Cup sizes range from "Lenin" to "Stalin" to "Yeltsin".
- Even after you've had five Absolut Frappuccinos, Olga's still an absolute barker.
- For that extra kick, you can get your Macchiato with a spritz of Polonium 210.
and the Number 1 Difference at a Russian Starbucks...
- The biggest difference: The next closest Starbucks is almost half a MILE away!
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Selected from 134 submissions from 47 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- Jill Gallagher, Seattle, WA -- 1 (7th #1)
- Jeff Rabinowitz, Wilkes-Barre, PA -- 2, 5
- Larry Hollister, Concord, CA -- 2, 6 Hall of Famer
- Paul Wiley, Westtown, NY -- 2
- David G. Scott, Kansas City, MO -- 3 Website
- Doug Finney, Houston, TX -- 4
- Bill Muse, Seattle, WA -- 5, 8, Topic Hall of Famer
- John J. Brassil, Nashville, TN -- 5
- Kim Moser, New York, NY -- 5 Hall of Famer
- Carl Knorr, Devo City, OH -- 7 Website / Hall of Famer
- Bruce W. Alter, Fairfax Station, VA -- 8
- David Kass, Queens, NY -- 8 Hall of Famer
- Matt Moore, Fresno, CA -- 8
- Mark Weiss, Austin, TX -- 8 Hall of Famer
- Michael Cunningham, Woodridge, IL -- 9
- Stephen A. Segall, Poplar Bluff, MO -- 10
- Peter Bauer, Rochester, NY -- 11 Hall of Famer
- Dave Goudsward, Lake Worth, FL -- 11
- Pam Wylder, Bloomington, IL -- 11
- Brian Daywalt, Wabash, IN -- 12
- Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- 13
- Douglas Frank, Crosby, TX -- 14, Banner Tag
- Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA -- 15 Website / Hall of Famer
- Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Hall of Famer
- Alex North, Chester, PA -- Ambience (explanation)
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TopFive.com and The Top 5 List are owned by Chris White.
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