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Unedited Director's Cut
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November 30, 2007
~~~ NOTE FROM CHRIS: ~~~
As if this week weren't already heading south, our Internet
hosting company, Dreamhost, is having major problems
delivering our mail on time, due to some conflict between
them and Google. Riiiiiiight... blame it on the big guys.
Apologies if you get this sometime over the weekend
instead of on Friday. And there will be TWO lists
coming your way on Saturday to get us all caught up.
The Top 17 Differences If Celebrities Stalked Fans
- You find your "His" and "Hers" bathroom towels have been replaced with "Alec's," "Daniel's," "William's" and "Stephen's."
- Lindsay Lohan keeps rear-ending you. And she not even in a car.
- Grandpa's wedding to the Widow Johnston is disrupted by a wild-eyed and desperate Andy Griffith banging on the church windows.
- There are suspiciously Tom Cruise-sized footprints on your couch again.
- Every morning, you find Danny DeVito's ladder propped up against your bedroom window -- even though you live on the first floor.
- Costner's making a baseball field in the back yard again.
- In all fairness, Jacko *might* be following you to work because you teach kindergarten.
- John Cusack has a three-month backlog of boom-box appointments.
- Sen. Larry Craig pokes his head under your bathroom stall and asks, "Want my autograph?"
- In every new paparazzi crotch-shot on the Internet, you're absolutely certain those are *your* panties Britney's not wearing!
- You wake up at 3:00 a.m. to find Stephen King leaning over you, smelling your hair.
- Tired of the ritual midnight "serenading," your neighbors have decided that either you shag Yoko already, or they'll kill you.
- "Who keeps turning down the damn thermostat? Gore!!!"
- You're pretty sure that's Lyle Lovett and Don King hiding behind those paparazzi cameras.
- Marg Helgenberger keeps sending you naked photos of herself marked "deposit DNA here."
- Try to explain to the 911 operator that you are being followed by the Police, and they hang up every time.
and the Number 1 Difference If Celebrities Stalked Fans...
- "Okay, that's it, Ms. Alba! You have exactly two hours to get out of my bed or I'm calling my fraternity brothers!"
Our ClubTop5 members get to see the
Runner Up and Honorable Mention items
for today's list, plus much MUCH more.
Join today!
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Selected from 95 submissions from 36 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- Bob Mader, Knoxville, TN -- 1 (15th #1)
- David Zechiel, Lake Forest, CA -- 2
- Pam Wylder, Bloomington, IL -- 3, 4
- Kim Moser, New York, NY -- 4 Hall of Famer
- Jim Rosenberg, Greensboro, NC -- 5 Hall of Famer
- Brad Simanek, Cedar Rapids, IA -- 6 Website / Hall of Famer
- Barb Astrin, Cumming, GA -- 7
- David Kass, Queens, NY -- 8, 9 Hall of Famer
- Daniel Weckerly, Limerick, PA -- 9 Hall of Famer
- Andrew Hackard, Austin, TX -- 10
- Dave Goudsward, Lake Worth, FL -- 11
- Jody LaFerriere, Leominster, MA -- 12 Website
- Danny Gallagher, McKinney, TX -- 13 Website
- John Mozena, Grosse Pointe Woods, MI -- 14
- Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA -- 15 Website / Hall of Famer
- Paul Wiley, Westtown, NY -- 16
- Caryn Kennealy, Glendale, CA -- 16
- Kevin Freels, Walnut Creek, CA -- 17 Website / Hall of Famer
- Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- Banner Tag
- Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Hall of Famer
- Sonic Youth, New York, NY -- Ambience (explanation)
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TopFive.com and The Top 5 List are owned by Chris White.
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