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Girls simply could not resist his jokes.
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February 1, 2007
~~~ NOTE FROM CHRIS: ~~~
Hillary Rodham Clinton is now officially running for
the 2008 Democratic nomination for for president.
Hmmm... Clinton -- that name sounds awfully familiar...
The Top 16 Differences Under
President *Hillary* Clinton
- This Clinton wears the pants in the family -- and keeps them *on* in the Oval Office.
- Out: "Don't Stop." In: "Ice Ice Baby."
- This time, America, you're taking that Universal Health Care medicine -- or you'll stay in your room until you do!
- President battles House Speaker over whose cycle will synchronize with whose.
- White House bathroom magazines under Hillary:
the Nation, Mother Jones, the Progressive.
White House bathroom magazines under Bill:
Hustler, Barely Legal, Juggs.
- All the veracity we've come to expect from a President Clinton, only this time unencumbered by personal charm.
- Socks the cat replaced by Fin, the man-eating great white.
- Michelle Malkin, Ann Coulter, Michael Savage, Sean Hannity, Rush Limbaugh and hundreds of other conservative pundits are found dead in a mass suicide at a private mansion in the Hamptons.
- No sax in the Oval Office.
- The vast nationwide pet programs of previous First Ladies will pale in comparison to the new First Gentleman's campaign to teach sex education, one American at a time.
- White House sex scandals 75 percent less cigarier.
- The only illegal tapping going on in the White House is when a group of coeds takes a tour.
- Bill: Tried it once but didn't inhale.
Hillary: Tried it once but didn't swallow.
- Now when the White House leaks a secret, it's strong enough for a man... but made for a woman!
- President Hillary not nearly as well-liked by conservatives as Bill was when he was president.
and the Number 1 Difference Under President *Hillary* Clinton...
- "I did not have sexual relations with that man, Mr. Clinton."
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Selected from 95 submissions from 35 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- Matt Kall, Solon, OH -- 1, Topic (4th #1)
- Brad Hamer, Austin, TX -- 2, 6
- Allan Rousselle, Redmond, WA -- 3
- Colleen Stelmaszek, Houston, TX -- 4, 10
- Danny Gallagher, McKinney, TX -- 5, 9 Website
- Ed Smith, Chattanooga, TN -- 7 Hall of Famer
- J.J. Gertler, Alexandria, VA -- 8
- Mark Weiss, Austin, TX -- 8, 12 Hall of Famer
- Joseph Moore, Concord, CA -- 11 Hall of Famer
- Caryn Kennealy, Glendale, CA -- 12
- Bill Muse, Seattle, WA -- 13 Hall of Famer
- Brad Simanek, Cedar Rapids, IA -- 14 Website / Hall of Famer
- Larry Hollister, Concord, CA -- 15 Hall of Famer
- Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- 16
- Carl Knorr, Devo City, OH -- Banner Tag Website / Hall of Famer
- Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Hall of Famer
- The Who, London, England -- Ambience (explanation)
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TopFive.com and The Top 5 List are owned by Chris White.
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