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January 16, 2007
~~~ NOTE FROM CHRIS: ~~~
Sealand is the world's smallest "country."
An abandoned World War Two military base consisting
of a platform perched on two concrete towers in the
North Sea, it was claimed some 40 years ago and now
has its own flag, stamps, currency and passports.
And it's for sale for slightly under $1 billion.
The Top 17 Downsides to
Owning Your Own Small Country
- Angelina Jolie and Madonna always trying to steal your kids.
- Always picked last for the United Nations kickball tournament.
- Your GNP is directly related to the cash advance limit on your Player's Club International card.
- Your only two cities? Starbucks North and Starbucks South.
- Turns out "I own a country" isn't nearly as good a pick-up line as "I'm a producer. Wanna dance in a rap video?"
- Postmaster Mom put your freshman picture on all the stamps.
- Damn tourists keep flushing the national toilet while you're in the national shower.
- Your entry in the Miss Universe contest? Grandma. Again.
- Ironically, Disney says you're not big enough for It's a Small World.
- The queen's not buying your assertion that the strip club being built behind the capitol building is strictly for tourism purposes.
- Your nuclear capability is limited to dental X-rays.
- It's hard to properly run a country when you're always busy unclogging your throne.
- Your air power is crippled when Master Sergeant Timmy's kite gets stuck in a tree.
- When you show up at the U.N., the superpower ambassadors always give you a wedgie and take your lunch money.
- No chance of a "Girls of Tinystan" edition of Playboy.
- The Liechtensteiners keep asking to borrow a cup of sugar.
and the Number 1 Downside to Owning Your Own Small Country...
- While your Director of Homeland Security is busy chasing squirrels, foreign invaders disrupt the seat of government by tipping over your Porta-Parliament building.
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Selected from 161 submissions from 57 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- Pam Wylder, Bloomington, IL -- 1, 5 (25th #1)
- Bruce W. Alter, Fairfax Station, VA -- 2
- Doug Finney, Houston, TX -- 3
- Kim Moser, New York, NY -- 4, 15 Hall of Famer
- Rex Meredith, Palm Springs, CA -- 4
- Curtis Stoddard, Cedar Hills, UT -- 4
- Brad Simanek, Cedar Rapids, IA -- 6 Website / Hall of Famer
- Stephen A. Segall, Poplar Bluff, MO -- 7
- Brian Daywalt, Wabash, IN -- 8
- Caryn Kennealy, Glendale, CA -- 8
- Michael Cunningham, Woodridge, IL -- 9
- Lori Petterson, Fairfax, VA -- 10, 11
- Carl Knorr, Devo City, OH -- 11 Website / Hall of Famer
- Beth Kujawski, Crown Point, IN -- 11
- Gene Dieden, New Haven, CT -- 12
- Chuck Brown, St. Stephen, NB, Canada -- 13
- Galen Tatsuo Komatsu, Pearl City, HI -- 14
- Spike Jones, Atlanta, GA -- 16
- David Kass, Queens, NY -- 17 Hall of Famer
- Jill Gallagher, Seattle, WA -- 17
- Matt Kall, Solon, OH -- Topic
- Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- Banner Tag
- Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Hall of Famer
- Genesis, London, England -- Ambience (explanation)
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TopFive.com and The Top 5 List are owned by Chris White.
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