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April 23, 2008
~~~ NOTE FROM CHRIS: ~~~
Think TopFive can't be classy?
We've got *poetry* for you today!
The Top 25 Election 2008 Haikus
- Evil Viet Cong
And their horrid torture camps?
No match for this crap!
- Dennis Kucinich
Said he saw UFOs, then
Disappeared in one.
- The time has long past.
The fat lady sings to thee,
Huckabee, go home!
- Hillary's *so* tired.
Pranksters won't stop calling her
Right at 3 a.m.
- John McCain am I.
So strong, can crush you like bug.
Do not look at me!
- Who wants the lesser
Of three evils? Bill Bradley,
Won't you please come home?
- John McCain makes speech:
"My fellow Americans,
Get off my damn lawn!"
- Barack, be like Bill.
He *does* love America --
One chick at a time.
- Ron Paul is still in.
Waiting for the mothership?
Reality check!
- Hillary Clinton's
Inevitability
Fades like Mets in fall.
- Just say what you mean!
Don't start every speech with
"What I meant to say..."
- John McClain? "Die Hard"?
Hey, Iran: Yippie-kay-yay,
You evil mofos!
- Hillary Clinton
Fighting Barack Obama?
You two get a room!
- GOP to Dems:
Good luck choosing nominee.
Wake us in August.
- Hillary was the
Odds-on favorite to win --
Like the Patriots.
- Many candidates,
All of them equally bad.
Write in for Chris White!
- Pennsylvanians
Can indeed be quite bitter --
Like Reverend Wright.
- When will it be safe
to watch my TV again?
I'm sick of this crap.
- Who won't die, but comes
Once again to eat our brains?
Zombie Ralph Nader!
- Hi. I'm John McCain.
Some say I'm too old to run
Hi. I'm John McCain...
- Bosnian snipers
Over a decade later
Shoot holes in Clinton.
- Forget the war and
Economy plummeting --
Where's his flag pin?!?
- I'm watching Fox News.
Apparently, the sun shines
Out of McCain's ass.
- 3 a.m. phone call
Hillary answers, first ring
It's Trixi, for Bill.
and the Number 1 Election 2008 Haiku...
- Hypnotizing me,
Winning my heart and my vote:
Obama Girl's boobs.
Our ClubTop5 members get to see the
Runner Up and Honorable Mention items
for today's list, plus much MUCH more.
Join today!
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Selected from 86 submissions from 34 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- Matt Maynard, Orange Park, FL -- 1 (Woohoo! 1st #1!)
- John Mozena, Grosse Pointe Woods, MI -- 2
- Greg Preece, Toronto, Canada -- 3
- David Kass, Queens, NY -- 4 Hall of Famer
- Larry Hollister, Concord, CA -- 5 Hall of Famer
- Jeff Rabinowitz, Wilkes-Barre, PA -- 6
- Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- 7, 14, 16 (Hat trick!)
- Matt Moore, Fresno, CA -- 7
- Donald Junter, New Haven, CT -- 8
- David Zechiel, Lake Forest, CA -- 8
- Daniel Weckerly, Limerick, PA -- 9 Hall of Famer
- Randy Pan, Goat Rock, CA -- 10, Banner Tag
- Dave Oberhart, Durham, NC -- 10 Website
- Allan Rousselle, Redmond, WA -- 11
- Carl Knorr, Devo City, OH -- 12 Website / Hall of Famer
- Paul Wiley, Westtown, NY -- 13, 19
- Mark Zinck, Grand Rapids, MI -- 15
- Bill Muse, Seattle, WA -- 16, 22 Hall of Famer
- Richard Skora, Columbus, OH -- 17
- Caryn Kennealy, Glendale, CA -- 18, 20
- Whit Watson, Winter Park, FL -- 20
- Marshal Perlman, Irvine, CA -- 21 Website
- Bob Mader, Knoxville, TN -- 23, 25
- Bruce W. Alter, Fairfax Station, VA -- 24
- Arthur Utz, San Jose, CA -- Topic
- Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Hall of Famer
- SR-71, Baltimore, MD -- Ambience (explanation)
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