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We donate a portion of every list to Hurricane List relief.
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July 19, 2007
~~~ NOTE FROM CHRIS: ~~~
First the server crash on Monday, then yesterday's
complete list shut out. What the HELL is going on
over at TopFive's plush high-rise headquarters?
Let's just say a certain humor list moderator
has a particularly big birthday coming up this
weekend that has him dwelling on his mortality.
Cut me a bit of slack and I promise to make
it up to you with a bonus list next week.
If I'm not completely senile by then.
The Top 13 Guesses at the Last Line of
"Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows"
(Part II)
- "Not tonight, Ginny -- I'm watching the Quidditch match."
- "And lo, Harry's spirit passed forth from the realm of hardcover releases, and into a series of ghost-written paperbacks unto eternity."
- "Holding Voldemort's severed head high in the air, Dudley sneered at Harry's sniveling form in the corner, and exclaimed, 'No more fat jokes, cousin.'"
- "I'd like you to meet my new associate, Nearly Headless Hermione."
- "Hermione, on the other hand, decided to give up the whole wizard shtick and become a dancer at a gentleman's club called The Caldron in Hogsmeade."
- "Okay, Ron, now it's time for a little Paycheckium Cashicus!!"
- "It was the same as the last six closing remarks that I'd heard from Dumbledore: 'If you tell your parents, I swear to God, I'll kill you in your sleep,'"
- "Hermione pressed her heaving bosom against Harry and the two stepped over Ron's smoking remains, mounted his broom and flew off with hopes of a new life in a land where screaming orgasms wouldn't incinerate everything in a 50-foot radius."
- "Harry trudged down the lane, devastated at the news that he was the only one who'd have to repeat 7th year."
- "So, in the end, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named was undone by the love that dare not speak its name."
- "Harry put a quarter in the juke box on the diner table and flipped through the song list, finally settling on Journey's 'Don't Stop Believing.'"
- "Hey, this Bott's Bean tastes like cyani--"
and the Number 1 Guesses at the Last Line of "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows"...
- "And then Harry woke up from his dream to find himself still on the scaffold, with the angry citizens of Salem Village clamoring for his death."
Our ClubTop5 members get to see the
Runner Up and Honorable Mention items
for today's list, plus much MUCH more.
Join today!
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Selected from 97 submissions from 40 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA -- 1 (53rd #1) Website / Hall of Famer
- Steve Huntington, San Jose, CA -- 2
- Brad Simanek, Cedar Rapids, IA -- 3, Banner Tag Website / Hall of Famer
- Chuck Brown, St. Stephen, NB, Canada -- 3
- Bob Van Voris, New York, NY -- 3
- Richard Skora, Columbus, OH -- 4
- Mark Weiss, Austin, TX -- 5 Hall of Famer
- Dave Goudsward, Lake Worth, FL -- 6
- Brandon Eldridge, St. Louis, MO -- 7
- Daniel Weckerly, Limerick, PA -- 8 Hall of Famer
- Dave Henry, Slidell, LA -- 9 Hall of Famer
- David Zechiel, Lake Forest, CA -- 9
- Bruce W. Alter, Fairfax Station, VA -- 10
- David Kass, Queens, NY -- 11, 13 Hall of Famer
- Reid Kerr, Tyler, TX -- 12 Website
- Victor Vitek, Hopewell Junction, NY -- Topic
- Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Hall of Famer
- Heart, Seattle, WA -- Ambience (explanation)
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TopFive.com and The Top 5 List are owned by Chris White.
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