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Tasty morsels of twisted thought.
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C L U B R U M
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http://www.ruminate.com
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To submit Ruminations: http://www.ruminate.com/submit.htm
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Fresh New Ruminations for November 21, 2005
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After years of uneventfully ordering
a side of bacon with breakfast, you
can image my surprise at the side of
beef I ordered last night for dinner.
(Scott E. Frank)
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That Johnny Cash is one tough dude.
The worst thing *I* ever did was tease
a girl in Salt Lake City just to watch
her cry -- and I apologized afterward.
(Kim Moser)
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It's time we stopped blaming our problems
on people in the past and started blaming
them on people in the future. After all,
people in the future have time travel --
why aren't they coming back to help us?!
(The Covert Comic)
http://www.covertcomic.com
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Since the arrival of my baby girl, I've come to
see my wife's breasts as being similar to a Chuck
E. Cheese restaurant: My daughter goes there for
the pizza, but me, I'm all about the Skee-ball!
(Damon Milhem)
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It never ceased to amaze me how
cold my ex-girlfriend's hand was
when I held it. In fact, that's why
I stopped keeping it in the freezer.
(Brad Hamer)
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When I was younger, I used to think it
was funny to say, "If I had a moustache,
I'd look just like my dad." Now that I
have to add "gray" in front of "moustache"
it's suddenly not so funny anymore.
(Ashley Deckard)
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I think I'd rather be a *real* Viking in the
past than a present-day Minnesota Viking.
I'm sure the real vikings never had to pay to
have sex with women they brought on their boats.
(Nick Smith)
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If there is such a thing as reincarnation,
I want to come back as a llama. Mostly because
no one is going to try to emotionally blackmail
a llama into coaching kids' soccer every year.
(Brad Osberg)
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BAD Rumination of the Day
(Submitted *as is* to us.)
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A South American Scientist, from Argentina,
after a lengthy study, has discovered that
people with not enough sexual activity read
their e-mails with their hand on the mouse.
Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late.
(Mot the Hoople)
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Filthy Rumination of the Day
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(In consideration of those who do not wallow in filth
like some of us, this is available only on our website.
Sign up for ClubRuminations to get the link!)
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Visit Brad Simanek's Web site: http://www.slightlyamusing.com
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Please forward this message only in its entirety.
Radio and television programs, magazines and newspapers
*must* receive permission before using this material.
Copyright 2005, Chris White
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