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TopFive.com
Tribute to TopFive contributor
Don Swain
1975-2002



To Mr. and Mrs. Swain,

I unfortunately did not know your son, and although am a mere 19 years old hope to shed some light onto what must be such a dark time for you both. I am a faithful ClubTop5 member, and thought that as such I could offer some small words of comfort. The lists I receive daily from Chris at Top5 enlighten every day I spend in the office. The lists are only compiled by Chris, however, and it is people like Don who are the brains behind it all. Please while looking back on the short life of your son, remember that it is he who is one of the brains behind the lists, and thanks to the world wide web, was able to touch countless peoples' lives, each and every day. The lists were sent to subscribers, like myself, who in turn forwarded them to all of their friends and family members via e-mail, who in turn forwarded it to their friends and fammilies, and so on and so on. So please, as you continue to love and miss your son every day, also remember how lucky he was to be able to use the internet, which is a great tool, to touch people's lives across the country and around the world. Your son must have been a generally happy man, to be able to share such humor with perfect strangers. My deepest sympathies for your loss, I cannot imagine what it is like to loose a child and honestly hope I never experience the pain. But please while you mourn, remember the good times I'm sure you've shared, and the great laughs he was able to share with us, the TopFive fans.

With condolsences,
Laurie Rosser



If it's true that the measure of a man is in the quality of friends who show up at his funeral and mourn his passing, I'd say that Don was tremendously special indeed.

Chris, that was absolutely beautiful. A wonderfully bittersweet tribute to a very talented man, and very kind of you to send out the word.

(((HUGS)))

The Brown Family -
Clint, Amy & Duncan (age 6 - Top5 contributor in training :)



It's tragic when a life with potential is cut short. As I read Don's contributions in the recent list, I realized how much I enjoyed his work.

I feel that the world lost a good person and a bit of humor that we sorely need.

My best to those who were closest to him.
Pete



I had the pleasure to meet Don in Chicago at one of our first Top Five-paloozas. He was a kick, and definitely one of the good guys, and all of us on Top Five know he was one of the funny ones, too. His untimely passing is simply tragic.

David Kass



I didn't know Don personally--only from his writings, but from that I knew him to be an intelligent person and a great humorist. I regret not ever getting to meet him in person. I am very sorry for your loss, but it is heaven's gain.

Mary Ann Phillips



I have been a Fan of Top 5 for about 1 year and have really used it as a bright spot in my day. I recently lost a dear friend who was 48 to stomach cancer. Don's humor (and others like him) has encouraged me to get up "one more day" many times. Whatever the reasons for my Sandy and your Don leaving us so soon... with Don's sense of humor I'm sure wherever they are, they are laughing their butts off!

God bless and keep you during this time of sadness.
Karen



Please pass my thoughts and prayers to Don's family...

Derek Cooper
Scotland



The Top 5 contributors knew that Don and I were both students majoring in psychology. But none of them knew that Don and I once shared the same penis. It was camouflaged upside-down as war paint on the face of a male sports fan in a Sony camcorder ad. I spotted it in a magazine in my orthodontist's office. The sight of the penis excited me and I used it for a class presentation. Of course, when Don heard about it, he had penis envy and insisted I scan it and forward it to him so he too could use it. We had several analytical discussions about the meaning of a penis in the center of a guy's face, in the center of a Sony ad, in the center of Parent's Magazine. I loved Don's sense of humor. Alas, he never returned the Sony ad. I'll miss Don and my penis.

Marsha Clodfelter



It is kind of wierd that although I have never met or even spoken to Don, you get the feeling like you knew him through his humour. Of all the bad attributes the internet has displayed over the years, this is one example of a positive one.

I will miss the laughs.

Alan Auld



What a great loss to us all. I can still remember the out-loud laugh that got me snide looks from co-workers when I read Don's quote about fat-free chocolates! I still laugh when I read it.

Hopefully the folks in heaven will have a sense of humor. And a twisted one at that.

So sorry for your (and our) loss.

L Petterson



Regardless of your politics, having a sense of humor is necessary to be successful. Don was here for a short time, but achieved success beyond his years. Our thoughts and prayers are with his family.

Aretta



Don's sense of humour was brilliant. He brought many a smile to the faces of TopFive readers the world over. Right now he's probably giving an angel a hot-foot. Don will be missed.

Chris Reynolds



It is truth that you never know what you'll miss until it's gone... I always thoroughly enjoyed the TopFive Liberal Politics list that Don moderated, and it was a shock to hear that he had passed on. This man helped bring me many a welcome chuckle at the expense of the conservative right, and his own original contributions were always guffaw-worthy. He and his gift of laughter will be missed, but will always live on.

Emily Crockett



I did not actually know Don at all, but I did attend Case Western myself (undergraduate). I can imagine Don walking the same paths in Cleveland that I did years ago, and I feel a connection, and a loss. The world seems to get smaller all the time.

Christine Wolak



I thought of Don Swain when I read this quote from Neil Postman, chair of the Department of Culture and Communications at NYU: "our poets, playwrights, artists, humorists, theologians, and philosophers, who alone are capable of creating those metaphors and stories that give point to our labors,elucidate the present, and give direction to our future." Don Swain takes his place among them for what he has shared of himself, with us. He is sadly missed.

Godspeed.

Moody Muse



Don has made me laugh for a good 4 1/2 years. I'm sure he's in heaven right now cracking jokes with Sam Kinison, Lenny Bruce, and Bill Hicks.

Nick Lynch



He was a funny man and a great moderater. I was shocked and saddened by the news. RIP Don.

Guy Payne



We've lost a well-rounded humorist, but the TopFive tribute is wonderful; and, in the words of Glen Cook, "It is immortality of a sort." His words will live on the Internet, for who knows how long, maybe forever (maybe long enough that people will find his writing while researching contemporary references to Monica Lewinsky, and miss half the references unless they are historians).

Rest in peace, kid.

Warren Hoskins



dind't really pay attention to who wrote the stuff, but when i was going through the stuff on your site now, i remember reading don's. or at least realized they were his. you guys are right..he has manged to make a lotta people smile, if not laugh out loud and that's a gift he had, he shared. thanks don.

Kashish



Thank you Don for the laughs and the smiles. Your humor touched many who you never met. To your parents I would say, my condolences to you and all the world on our great loss.

John Pruitt



To the family of Don Swain...

I just want to tell you that Don and all the contributors to Topfive have played a very important role in my life. During the loss of two family members to cancer and a run-in with it myself two years ago, it is Dons and many others humor that helped get me through. Your son will be greatly missed by us all.

Only when we have completed the grieving over our loss can we breathe the fresh air of freedom, for the soul could have no rainbows had the eyes not shed the tears.

Respectfully Yours,
Lori, Ontario, Canada



I never really looked at the names as I read the lists. But reading the fond farewell made me realize that many of the items that truly made me laugh out loud came from him. A truly funny man. He'll be sorely missed. My sincere condolences to his family...a man who could consistently give a bored office worker a little laugh in the middle of the day must have been a special joy to his family as well.

Terrie Gilland



I never met Don Swain or really paid much attention to contributor's names, but I recognized several of those contributions. What a shame his life was cut so short. He obviously had a keen mind and a lofe of life.

Scott



Don's contributions to "Ruminations" always made me laugh out loud. Laughter is a very precious gift, and I thank him for it.

Anne



I knew Don casually, which is to say I knew his name. I have tried on numerous ocassions to get my name immortalized like Don. It just goes to prove how remarkably hilarious his sense of humor really was. I frequently chuckle at his entries and I hope one day I will be remotely as funny as he was...

Miss ya....

Scott Foster (fan)



Dear TopFive Community,

I was saddened to hear of the untimely passing of Don. He certainly brought many a chuckle to me,and I looked forward to reading the TopFive List, and some of the Club Five editions.

My sympathies to all of you.
Pam Cupec



If you make one person laugh you have made this a better world. You did that Don, and we will miss you.

May your God go with you.

Eddie Fingret



Dear Don's Loved Ones:

Like Don, I am one of the Top 5 contributors. Unlike some of the other contributors, I had never met him in person. I knew him only through his messages to our contributors' discussion list and through his humor. But I believe that even in such a detached medium as the Internet, the essence of the person behind the keyboard comes through given enough time. So I think I can say with confidence that Don was one very funny and very intelligent individual, and I mourn that the sparkling future that surely lay before him will not be. I will miss seeing his name among the Top 5 List credits and, within our contributors' group, his thought-provoking messages, his tongue-in-cheek diatribes and his biting wit. I lament that I didn't get to shake his hand and say "Hello" to his face at least once.

My deepest condolences -- and many hugs -- to all of you. Be well.

Peg Warner



I didn't know Don personally but I have giggled to his humor on Top Five for years. Whenever I read a line that makes me chuckle I always scroll down to see who wrote it. I can't tell you how many times I've scrolled down to find Don's name listed as the one who wrote a particularly funny line. His life was way too short but he made alot of people smile and laugh much more than they would have otherwise. We will all miss him.

Jane Roda



How sad for you all to lose such a talented friend at such a young age! My thoughts & prayers are with you through this difficult time.

Dave



Please accept my deepest condolences for the tragic loss of your son. His humor was a bright spot in my day, and life will be a lesser thing without him.

My thoughts are with you,
Ronda Shook



Don's humor has been a true gift to those of us who knew him only through his Top 5 submissions. He was the kind of guy about whom my friend, Margie, would say, "That boy is not right!" and mean it as a compliment. I am grateful to have had this special spirit in the world -- even for such a brief time.

Maggie Beretz



Sincere condolences to Don's family and friends.

Sally Peters



I would like to extend a heart felt thank you to all the TopFive writers, staff and readers from Donny's family. And a special thank you to Chris for all you've done to Honor Donny's memory. His passing has left a void in our lives and hearts forever.

God Bless you all.

Sincerely,
Shirley Routh (Donny's Aunt)



in mexico there is no good humor so i read the top5 every day through the window of my neighbor while they can no see me. they are now take the shower so i type this with a rake through the window. it bring the tear to my good eye to hear of don swain passing to heaven. i had always hope he come to my village to be funny some day. water turn off I must go.

peace to the don swain

Garcia Acevedo



Whoa. Not quite what I was expecting when I opened up today's email, but what a fitting tribute. Well done, Chris.

I remember meeting Don at Beth Kohl-Fienerman's 30th birthday bash in Chicago a few years ago and thought this is one funny guy. His biting humor was something I'll always remember.

Although I haven't been a part of TopFive for quite few years, I've always remembered Don and the rest of the bunch I met that weekend.

Thanks for the laughs, Don. You'll be missed.

Cheers,
Diana



Remember, fellas: Nothing says,
"I want to get kicked in the balls,"
like a box of fat-free chocolates.
(Don Swain)


This has always been one of my favorite ruminations. I'm real sorry to hear of this loss to the community.

Andrew



Sorry to hear...another great one taken!

Fred



Funny people have a special sort of immortality. Some joke of Don's, retold years from now (probably without attribution), will make milk come out someone else's nose. Not a bad legacy.

Martin Bredeck



It is no small thing to have made people laugh. He will live on in those who remember his humor and smile.

Truly sorry for your loss.

Debbie J.



I was always very impressed with the intellectual depth of Don's witticisms...they went far beyond simple puns and reflected a grasp of our culture that belied his youth...I will miss him... He made me laugh out loud.

Kathy Cuevas



Laughter is the greatest medicine and Don was a wonderful pharmacist. There are not many people in this world I can count on for a good laugh every few days.

Although I never met him, and he knew nothing of me, I am truly saddened by this news. My prayers are with his family and friends.

Andy Krakowski



Don made the world a better place with his quick wit and great sense of humor. His presence will be sorely missed, and all of us at TopFive Contributorland have lost a great friend.

May you find peace and solace in this difficult time.

Rick Welshans
TopFive Contributor



#1 on Don's To-Do List in Heaven.

Convince St. Peter that the other Top Five contributors belong here... not the other place. Scratch that. Impossible. Try to arrange day passes.

Thank you for all the laughs Don.

Brad Osberg



Don's stuff made me laugh out loud, and that doesn't happen often enough. I never knew him, but I'll miss him, anyway.

Chris Brod



Don - you made many people smile with your wit and humor, asking nothing in return. That's a mighty fine thing to to with your life. Goodbye.

James Knowles

P.S. Slip Saint Peter a couple dollars while waiting in line at the Pearly Gates - things will go a lot smoother for you.



No words could ever begin to lessen the pain Don's parents are going through -- but this is just my tiny way of saying thank you to them for producing such a bright and funny son. He brought many laughs and smiles into my life and the lives of an awful lot of people I know. The world is a much sadder place with him gone.

anonymous



Everyone knows that the delightfully funniest people come from the best of families. Don will be missed at Top5, and our thoughts are with you.

Stephanie Passalacqua



I was very sorry to hear about Don's sudden passing. He wrote my all-time favorite rumination, the one I use on my marquee screen saver. He was very talented and funny and will be missed by all.

Rosie Fernandez



I've been a writer along with Don since he first started with Top Five. My wife and I met him once, on a trip he took to Chicago and we immediately hit it off! He was a charming, clever, and *very* funny young man.

We will miss him dearly. Thanks to you for bringing this man into the world, he made many people smile! He was taken too soon!

Craig Stacey



I am so incredibly sorry to hear that Don passed away. It's not often that we have someone who truly knows the benefits of laughter... And to have someone so very young leave too soon is more unbearable than words can say for a parent and other loved ones. My heart goes out to all that knew and love him.

Debbie Gross



All my sympathies to Don's family and loved ones. We never met, but in the Top 5 family it's easy to feel that the others contributors are your friends and neighbors, the kind of people you'd see around at a barbeque or a party, the kind of people who'd greet you with a big smile and a friendly handshake.

You'll be missed, Don.

Mark Niebuhr



life's sure not fair. swain added a great kick to the day whenever his quirky take on life was added to the top five list. tell his folks he will be missed by his e-friends all over the world!

regards and sympathy from southern california

Jerry



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