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           Fresh New Ruminations for February 12, 2009


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                    Definition of a recession:
                   You got socks for Christmas.
                   Definition of a depression:
                  You *ate* socks for Christmas.

                           (BigDogDano)

                              -=++=-

             I d like to invent a portable air cannon
            so I could go around and blast my enemies
             in the groin. Just to confuse people and
             throw the law off my scent, though, I'd
             call my cannon "The Mighty Fist of God."

                       (Michael Cunningham)

                              -=++=-

              My investment advisor called and said
              he had this great new venture where we
             get rich by paying people to stack large
           stone blocks in the shape of a tetrahedron.
          Turns out it was just another pyramid scheme.

                            (Paul B.)

                              -=++=-

               If there's one thing I've learned in
               life, it's that when one door opens,
                I'm almost certainly going to walk
                into the one that's still locked.

                           (Nick Smith)

                              -=++=-

                My wife hates cliches and says she
               probably wouldn't have married me if
               she had known how often I use them.
               So I told her that when it comes to
              hindsight, everyone has 20/20 vision.
               Then she punched me. In retrospect,
               I should have seen that one coming.

                         (Donald Johnson)

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                   From the Ruminations Archives
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           When my cries for help were answered not by
           Superman or Wonder Woman, but by a scrawny,
         cobble-toothed hillbilly with a ratty cowboy hat
          and a stench that could make manure jealous, I
     realized I had erroneously contacted the Festus League.

                          (Mark D. Sabien)
                  http://www.slightlyamusing.com

                              -=++=-

               With technology advancing every day,
          it's only a matter of time until I'll finally
            be able to purchase a TV made entirely out
              of my choice of fine European cheeses.

                        (John Gephart IV)
                       http://niftyness.com

                              -=++=-

            I've been married about 10 years now, but
            the wind chill makes it feel more like 50.

                           (SkyWalker)

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                    BAD Rumination of the Day
                    (Submitted *as is* to us.)
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                 My little Brother is so dumb he
               thinks that high def tv is something
                used by tall guys who can't hear.

                             (Dagger)

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                   Filthy Rumination of the Day
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      (In consideration of those who do not wallow in filth
     like some of us, this is available only on our website.)

  {website link provided to registered ClubRuminations members}

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  Visit Mark D. Sabien's Web site: http://www.slightlyamusing.com
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                    Copyright 2009, Chris White
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