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If it's TopFive, let it mellow.
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August 10, 2007
~~~ NOTE FROM CHRIS: ~~~
The National Basketball Association is caught up
in a scandal after a ref was found to have placed
bets on the outcome of games in which he was working.
The Top 16 Indications a Referee Is Crooked
- His jersey sports more logos than Jeff Gordon's car.
- For the fifth straight season, you lost your online fantasy football league Super Bowl by 50+ points to "BadZebra0013."
- You catch him injecting Barry Bonds's blood into his whistle hand.
- "Holding! Five-yard penalty. Unless you boys want to make me a better offer."
- "Is it just me, or does the new time keeper look an awful lot like Flava Flav?"
- You weren't thrilled with his calls before, but they're even worse since he broke both kneecaps in a gardening accident.
- When Kobe scores 45 in the first half, he gets ejected for "showing off."
- Steps in to give Ronaldinho a mulligan on that missed penalty kick.
- To start the bottom of the 9th, he invokes the "Running the Bases Backwards While Doing Somersaults" rule.
- His entourage is bigger than Carmello's and Iverson's combined.
- Immediately after the coin toss, he barks, "Nope! Best two out of three!"
- Before the first preseason game, he congratulates the Oakland Raiders on their 2008 Super Bowl victory.
- Your team's best player fouls out during pregame layup drills.
- That's two minutes for letting yourself be slashed, and another five for bleeding on the ice.
- Your game-winning touchdown is called back and you're assessed a 75-yard penalty for "illegal use of the buttocks."
and the Number 1 Indication a Referee Is Crooked...
- Pours ketchup on the ears of Mike Tyson's opponent.
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Selected from 118 submissions from 42 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- Jeff Johnson, Los Altos, CA -- 1, 3 (6th #1)
- Jill Gallagher, Seattle, WA -- 1 (6th #1)
- Brad Hamer, Austin, TX -- 2
- Reid Kerr, Tyler, TX -- 4, 9 Website
- Curtis Stoddard, Cedar Hills, UT -- 5, 9
- Brad Osberg, Calgary, Canada -- 6
- Paul Wiley, Westtown, NY -- 7
- Brad Simanek, Cedar Rapids, IA -- 8, Banner Tag Website / Hall of Famer
- David G. Scott, Kansas City, MO -- 9, 16 Website
- Brandon Eldridge, St. Louis, MO -- 9
- Larry Hollister, Concord, CA -- 10 Hall of Famer
- Gretchen Koch, Brookfield, IL -- 11
- Mark Weiss, Austin, TX -- 11 Hall of Famer
- Richard Skora, Columbus, OH -- 12
- Dave Goudsward, Lake Worth, FL -- 13
- David Kass, Queens, NY -- 14 Hall of Famer
- Carl Knorr, Devo City, OH -- 15 Website / Hall of Famer
- Bruce W. Alter, Fairfax Station, VA -- 16
- Michael Whitmire, Houston, TX -- Topic
- Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Hall of Famer
- Half Man Half Biscuit, Birkenhead, England -- Ambience (explanation)
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TopFive.com and The Top 5 List are owned by Chris White.
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