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A toasty steamer to greet your otherwise sucky day.
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August 2, 2007
~~~ NOTE FROM CHRIS: ~~~
According to a report, on at least two occasions
NASA has allowed astronauts to fly after flight
surgeons and other astronauts warned they
were so drunk they posed a flight-safety risk.
The Top 14 Indications an Astronaut Is Drunk
(Part I)
- Keeps trying to sneak an ice chest into the payload bay.
- His Tang has a lime in it and salt on the rim.
- Too busy doing donuts in the lunar rover to realize that his oxygen tank is empty.
- When asked to stand on one foot, he instead elects to stand on *no* feet.
- He's under the rocket shouting "Where's the damn fuse?!"
- Wrapped the lunar rover around a tree. On the *moon*.
- Breaks down weeping in the middle of his countdown, lamenting how no one has ever driven cross-country in an adult diaper for *him*.
- Pees inside his spacesuit -- after taking it off and hanging it up.
- He just called one of the mission control engineers "Sugar Tits."
- When NASA turns on the video link to the space shuttle, there he is, floating shirtless and trying to eat a hamburger off the ceiling.
- Keeps flipping off Cuba with the shuttle's robotic arm.
- "Houston, I love you, man!"
- Wakes up with "EJECT ME" written on his face in black magic marker.
and the Number 1 Indication an Astronaut Is Drunk...
- Gets her hair caught in the suction toilet.
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Selected from 116 submissions from 41 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- Travis Ruetenik, Hiroshima, Japan -- 1, 2 (14th #1)
- Chuck Sawyer, Rochester, NY -- 3, 9
- Bill Muse, Seattle, WA -- 3, 10 Hall of Famer
- Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA -- 3 Website / Hall of Famer
- Carl Knorr, Devo City, OH -- 3 Website / Hall of Famer
- Curtis Stoddard, Cedar Hills, UT -- 3
- Andrew Hackard, Austin, TX -- 4, 12
- Brad Osberg, Calgary, Canada -- 5
- Larry Hollister, Concord, CA -- 6 Hall of Famer
- Bruce W. Alter, Fairfax Station, VA -- 7
- Brad Simanek, Cedar Rapids, IA -- 8, Banner Tag Website / Hall of Famer
- David Zechiel, Lake Forest, CA -- 11
- Rex Meredith, Palm Springs, CA -- 13
- Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- 14
- Matt Kall, Solon, OH -- Topic
- Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Hall of Famer
- The Rainmakers, Kansas City, KS -- Ambience (explanation)
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TopFive.com and The Top 5 List are owned by Chris White.
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