August 3, 2007
~~~ NOTE FROM CHRIS: ~~~
According to a report, on at least two occasions
NASA has allowed astronauts to fly after flight
surgeons and other astronauts warned they
were so drunk they posed a flight-safety risk.
The Top 14 Indications an Astronaut Is Drunk
(Part II)
- Wants to play Quarters to see who gets the window seat.
- Shows up wearing his flight helmet, a silver lame' top and Richard Simmons short-shorts.
- He backs into the moon, then flies off without leaving a note.
- "Open the Bud keg doors, Hal."
- Converts her oxygen mask to a tissue paper kazoo and insists on performing "Thus Spoke Zarathustra" at every sunrise. All 185 of them.
- Uses the shuttle to chase down Lindsay Lohan's assistant's mom.
- As the shuttle makes its final landing approach, southern Florida is peppered with empty Jim Beam bottles.
- Swerves across the meridian and runs head-on into a comet.
- At T-minus 30 seconds he shouts, "WAIT! I think I left my oven on."
- Keeps giggling and asking, "Hey, Houston, when do we get to Uranus?"
- Returning from a space walk, he can't remember where he parked the shuttle.
- "Who the hell is Roger?"
- "A million billion stars in the sky, a million billion stars. You take one down and pass it around; nine-hundred and ninety-nine thousand nine... hundred... crap. Guys, I gotta start over."
and the Number 1 Indication an Astronaut Is Drunk...
- "Prepare to dock -- at the Waffle House!"
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Selected from 116 submissions from 41 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- Mitch Patterson, Atlanta, GA -- 1 (15th #1)
- Mark Weiss, Austin, TX -- 2 Hall of Famer
- Caryn Kennealy, Glendale, CA -- 2
- John Mozena, Grosse Pointe Woods, MI -- 3
- Rex Meredith, Palm Springs, CA -- 4
- Douglas Frank, Crosby, TX -- 4
- Curtis Stoddard, Cedar Hills, UT -- 5
- Jeff Rabinowitz, Wilkes-Barre, PA -- 6
- Doug Finney, Houston, TX -- 7
- Brad Osberg, Calgary, Canada -- 8, 12
- Barbara McMullen, Ann Arbor, MI -- 9
- Richard Skora, Columbus, OH -- 10
- Daniel Weckerly, Limerick, PA -- 11 Hall of Famer
- Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- 13
- Terry Ramsdell, Ann Arbor, MI -- 14
- Matt Kall, Solon, OH -- Topic
- Brad Simanek, Cedar Rapids, IA -- Banner Tag Website / Hall of Famer
- Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Hall of Famer
- Norman Greenbaum, Malden, MA -- Ambience (explanation)
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