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Now 80% green!
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May 1, 2007
~~~ NOTE FROM CHRIS: ~~~
We're back! But we've been having server problems
for the last week, and I'm working with our hosting
company to get them resolved. If it doesn't happen
today, I'll have to start publicly bad-mouthing them.
[You guys reading this? I mean it!]
More tomorrow on what happened during our time off.
Right now, here's what we're all jonesing for...
The Top 16 Pet Peeves of "American Idol" Contestants
- The show rewards image and popularity, rather than actual talent. It's nothing like the REAL music industry!
- Can't even get lunch without being hounded by Simon: "That has to be the WORST example of a corned beef sandwich I've ever seen."
- Seacrest always trying to distract everyone backstage with his colorful panties.
- Only one set of lips, so many asses.
- Brief time in spotlight ill prepares you for a career performing at boat shows and county fairs.
- Sometimes Justin Guarini doesn't get the spit-shine right on your shoes.
- Some mysterious guy in a phantom mask keeps offering to make you the next Ruben Studdard.
- The only thing worse than the next-lowest-vote-getter having to darn Randy's big-ass briefs each week is him strutting around bottomless until they're done.
- It's not what Simon says, but the *way* he says it!
- Toss-up: Chris Sligh's spastic colon vs. Melinda Doolittle's scat fetish.
- The expectations people seem to have that if you make the top 10, you aren't going to suck.
- Someone keeps changing name plate on your dressing room door to Fatty Who Ain't Got a Chance.
- If you show up with alcohol on your breath, Paula insists on giving you mouth-to-mouth.
- That Rod Stewart old-man smell still lingers backstage.
- Paula never comes through on her promise to take you to her home planet.
and the Number 1 Pet Peeves of "American Idol" Contestants...
- Simon won't listen, even though everyone in your family says you have talent.
Our ClubTop5 members get to see the
Runner Up and Honorable Mention items
for today's list, plus much MUCH more.
Join today!
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Selected from 103 submissions from 37 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- Paul Wiley, Westtown, NY -- 1 (5th #1)
- Reid Kerr, Tyler, TX -- 2, 12 Website
- Chuck Smith, Woodbridge, VA -- 3 Hall of Famer
- Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- 4, 14
- Rex Meredith, Palm Springs, CA -- 5
- Jennifer Ford, Chicago, IL -- 6, 8 Website
- Brad Simanek, Cedar Rapids, IA -- 7, 9 Website / Hall of Famer
- Dave Goudsward, Lake Worth, FL -- 10
- Terry Ramsdell, Ann Arbor, MI -- 11
- David G. Scott, Kansas City, MO -- 13 Website
- Geoff Brown, Commerce, MI -- 15 Website / Hall of Famer
- Andrew Hackard, Austin, TX -- 16
- Caryn Kennealy, Glendale, CA -- Topic
- Donald Junter, New Haven, CT -- Banner Tag
- Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Hall of Famer
- Billy Idol, Middlesex, England -- Ambience (explanation)
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TopFive.com and The Top 5 List are owned by Chris White.
Absolutely no publishing or reprinting without prior consent.
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