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Live from Jalalabad!
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June 23, 2008
~~~ NOTE FROM CHRIS: ~~~
The war in Iraq is still raging, gas prices are sky-high,
the federal deficit continues to grow, yada yada...
There have been an awful lot of shots taken at our
president in recent months, as problems mount and
his approval ratings plummet. But TopFive wants to be
fair: George W. Bush has done some good things, too.
The Top 15 Positive Things President Bush Has Done
- Well, he never accidentally shot anyone while hunting!
- Dramatically raised the bar for future presidents who want to be considered "Worst President Ever."
- Brought the tourists back to Guantanamo Bay.
- Awarded TopFive.com the Presidentiarated Medal of Good Counting.
- Brought imminent democratic revolution to Cuba, Iran and North Korea by shrewdly depriving their evil rulers of that life-blood of tyrants, conversation.
- Proudly kept the White House blowjob-free!
- Shattered a glass ceiling by giving female soldiers the opportunity to point at POW penises.
- Deftly stimulated our packages.
- Heightened the public's awareness of the dangers of PCS (Pretzel Choking Syndrome).
- Stood devoutly aside as the wrathful Lord exacted His vengeance on the depraved populace of New Orleans, avoiding such heretical modern responses as "humanitarian aid" or "giving a damn."
- Helped with that whole superiority complex that Americans had going on.
- Put a serious dent in our nation's brush-clearing problem.
- Got a really good price for selling America to the oil companies.
- Caught more al-Qaeda #2s than the Waziristani sewer system.
and the Number 1 Positive Thing President Bush Has Done...
- Single-handedly convinced Frank T. Burvis, unemployed Iraq-veteran Klansman from New Orleans, to vote for a black man for president.
Our ClubTop5 members get to see the
Runner Up and Honorable Mention items
for today's list, plus much MUCH more.
Join today!
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Selected from 95 submissions from 34 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- Mark D. Sabien, What Cheer, IA -- 1 (58th #1) Website / Hall of Famer
- Carl Knorr, Devo City, OH -- 2, 12 Website / Hall of Famer
- Michael Cunningham, Woodridge, IL -- 3
- Randy Lee, Burke, VA -- 4, 14
- Jill Gallagher, Seattle, WA -- 5
- Larry Hollister, Concord, CA -- 6, 11 Hall of Famer
- Chuck Sawyer, Rochester, NY -- 7, 9
- Trish Jensen, Reedsville, PA -- 8, Topic
- Terry Ramsdell, Ann Arbor, MI -- 10
- Michael Sheinbaum, Guilford, CT -- 10 Website
- Danny Gallagher, McKinney, TX -- 13 Website
- Daniel Weckerly, Limerick, PA -- 15 Hall of Famer
- David Kass, Queens, NY -- Banner Tag Hall of Famer
- Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Hall of Famer
- Black Eyed Peas, Los Angeles, CA -- Ambience (explanation)
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TopFive.com and The Top 5 List are owned by Chris White.
Absolutely no publishing or reprinting without prior consent.
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