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Now hiring scab writers!
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December 17, 2007
~~~ NOTE FROM CHRIS: ~~~
President Bush recently announced a measures to reduce
air traffic congestion and long delays that leave passengers
stranded and turn holiday travel into "a season of dread."
The Top 12 President Bush Ideas
to Speed Up Holiday Travel
- Only planes that fail to land will be counted as "late arrivals."
- New remove-your-shoes-then-drop-your-pants-and-bend-over security screening method should thin the travel crowd a tad.
- Duty-free stores authorized to offer dime bags of cocaine for higher, faster travel.
- Raise the speed limit for planes.
- A visit to the grocery store and back now counts as a successful holiday trip.
- Tax credits for rich stay-at-homes.
- Airline passengers required to lift their feet during takeoff in order to reduce drag.
- "Schedule each flight two hours early so everyone will get to their destination two hours early! See how easy that is? That's why I'm president."
- Invade O'Hare.
- Don't sweat the details. Just call your program "No Passenger Left Behind" -- who could be against that?
- Parachutes. Lots and lots of parachutes.
and the Number 1 President Bush Idea to Speed Up Holiday Travel...
- "I ask all Americans to celebrate Christmas someplace downhill from them."
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Runner Up and Honorable Mention items
for today's list, plus much MUCH more.
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Selected from 94 submissions from 34 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- J.J. Gertler, Alexandria, VA -- 1, 4 (5th #1)
- Michael Cunningham, Woodridge, IL -- 2, 7
- Larry Hollister, Concord, CA -- 3 Hall of Famer
- Jeff Rabinowitz, Wilkes-Barre, PA -- 5
- Dave Henry, Slidell, LA -- 6 Hall of Famer
- David Zechiel, Lake Forest, CA -- 8, 12
- Bill Muse, Seattle, WA -- 9 Hall of Famer
- Michael Sheinbaum, Guilford, CT -- 10 Website
- Lori Petterson, Fairfax, VA -- 11
- Jim Griffith, Sunnyvale, CA -- Banner Tag
- Elizabeth Black, Asotin, WA -- List moderator
- Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Hall of Famer
- Dan Fogelberg, Peoria, IL -- Ambience (explanation)
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TopFive.com and The Top 5 List are owned by Chris White.
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