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Using our celebrity status to enlighten the world.
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August 27, 2007
~~~ NOTE FROM CHRIS: ~~~
The second largest city in America remains without an
NFL franchise for its 13th straight year since the Rams
moved to St. Louis and the Raiders moved to San Quentin.
The Top 15 Reasons Los Angeles
Still Has No Professional Football Team
- Their people *still* haven't called the NFL's people.
- Although it remains vacant, Tampax Field is ready for immediate occupancy.
- Still looking for an NFL player who is married to a Spice Girl.
- O.J. Simpson's ownership bid is still pending.
- The Rams didn't actually move; the combination of smog and heat melted the team.
- Crips v. Bloods is much more interesting.
- Lindsay Lohan drove off with the team.
- Concession stand trainees still can't get the maple lattes to foam properly.
- Church of Scientology has exclusive rights to development of rabid, incoherent fan bases in greater Los Angeles area until 2015.
- Traffic jams just now easing from last NFL game there.
- Impossible to fatten up offensive tackles on temaki sushi and wheatgrass juice.
- "Your Los Angeles Frappuccinos!" just doesn't have the right feel to it.
- Hard to compete when USC doesn't have a salary cap.
- Paris Hilton can't make room on her schedule to entertain another professional sports team.
and the Number 1 Reason Los Angeles Still Has No Professional Football Team...
- Because Mr. Spielberg doesn't care for it.
Our ClubTop5 members get to see the
Runner Up and Honorable Mention items
for today's list, plus much MUCH more.
Join today!
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Selected from 77 submissions from 29 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- Brad Simanek, Cedar Rapids, IA -- 1 (48th #1) Website / Hall of Famer
- Lee Oeth, San Diego, CA -- 2
- John Mozena, Grosse Pointe Woods, MI -- 3, 7
- Bob Mader, Knoxville, TN -- 3
- Rex Meredith, Palm Springs, CA -- 4, 13
- Travis Ruetenik, Hiroshima, Japan -- 5, 8
- Daniel Weckerly, Limerick, PA -- 5, 10 Hall of Famer
- Dave Wesley, Pleasant Hill, CA -- 6 Hall of Famer
- David Kass, Queens, NY -- 9, 12 Hall of Famer
- Danny Gallagher, McKinney, TX -- 11 Website
- Stephen A. Segall, Poplar Bluff, MO -- 14
- Paul Wiley, Westtown, NY -- 15
- Carl Knorr, Devo City, OH -- Topic Website / Hall of Famer
- Douglas Frank, Crosby, TX -- Banner Tag
- Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Hall of Famer
- The Holy Modal Rounders, New York, NY -- Ambience (explanation)
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© Copyright 1994-2008. All rights reserved.
TopFive.com and The Top 5 List are owned by Chris White.
Absolutely no publishing or reprinting without prior consent.
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