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Now even wetter!
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April 3, 2008
~~~ NOTE FROM CHRIS: ~~~
A 35-year-old Kansas woman sat on her boyfriend's toilet
for two years -- so long that her body was stuck to the
seat by the time the boyfriend finally called police.
Doctors said the woman's skin had grown around the seat.
Those wacky Kansans! But the question remains: WHY?!?
The Top 15 Reasons to Spend Two Years on a Toilet
(Part I)
- If you get up, the sewer gators will get loose!
- When you have a wife, five daughters, and one bathroom, a man has to pick somewhere to make a stand -- or a sit, in this case.
- Because two years in the *bathtub* would get uncomfortable.
- You're a congressman; it takes you two years to pass ANYthing.
- "Should I shit or get off the pot? Should I shit or get off the pot? Should I shit or get off the pot?..."
- It makes you feel like you're crapping on China for its treatment of Tibet.
- You're having an affair with the Ty-D-Bowl man.
- Just waiting for Amelia to fly back from the next island over with this week's supply of T.P.
- Having the boss tear you a new one every day has finally taken its toll.
- Because if Americans can't sit on a toilet for two years, then the terrorists have already won.
- The 2006 Kansas Fondue Festival.
- You vowed to stay put until you see that frickin' flying saucer in the Magic Eye poster on the wall.
- Still trying to decide which one is the stalactite and which is the stalagmite.
- When they say "Super Extreme Sudoku," they mean it!
and the Number 1 Reason to Spend Two Years on a Toilet...
- You're busy coming up with new script ideas for "According to Jim."
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Selected from 109 submissions from 40 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- Greg Preece, Toronto, Canada -- 1 (13th #1)
- Bob Mader, Knoxville, TN -- 2, 12
- Travis Ruetenik, Hiroshima, Japan -- 3
- Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA -- 4, 7, 8 (Hat trick!) Website / Hall of Famer
- Richard Skora, Columbus, OH -- 5
- Michael Sheinbaum, Guilford, CT -- 6 Website
- Daniel Weckerly, Limerick, PA -- 9 Hall of Famer
- Dave Wesley, Pleasant Hill, CA -- 10, 14 Hall of Famer
- Mark Weiss, Austin, TX -- 11 Hall of Famer
- Jill Gallagher, Seattle, WA -- 13
- Bruce W. Alter, Fairfax Station, VA -- 15
- David Kass, Queens, NY -- 15 Hall of Famer
- Chuck Sawyer, Rochester, NY -- 15
- Josh Sinnett, Bellingham, WA -- 15
- Randy Lee, Burke, VA -- 15
- Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- Banner Tag
- Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Hall of Famer
- Richard Marx, Chicago, IL -- Ambience (explanation)
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TopFive.com and The Top 5 List are owned by Chris White.
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