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Spitball contest! Hit this ---> (x)
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August 1, 2008
~~~ NOTE FROM CHRIS: ~~~
TopFive doesn't normally like to do more than
one two-part list in a single week. This week,
though, we had a couple of topics that generated
what we like to refer to as a "buttload of funny."
The Top 14 Reasons We're Whispering
(Part I)
- Don't want to draw attention to ourselves on Pants Optional Monday.
- Screamed ourselves silly at last night's William Hung concert.
- If our girlfriend's father were to catch us in this closet, he'd be really mad. And our girlfriend wouldn't be thrilled about us and her mom, either.
- Still hoarse from the last time we filed up our SUV with gas.
- Because the president doesn't like to be woken up during cabinet meetings.
- We harbour dark secrets that we'd be mortified should anyone find out about. At least until our appearance on Springer.
- Scared we'll be expelled from Marceau Mime College.
- Love hearing the drill sergeant shout "I can't hear you!"
- Mr. White's napping after another late night of partying with Andy Dick.
- We don't want our wives to know we went to a strip club. Especially one called The Manhole.
- Because we want to annoy every other person in the movie theater.
- Because we just aren't yet ready to go public with our "Men Who Love Kitties" club.
- Damn Ferengi neighbors always complaining to the super about the noise.
and the Number 1 Reason Why We're Whispering...
- Cutting the vocal track for our new rap single, "Hope I Ain't Dizzturbin' Ya Meditation."
Our ClubTop5 members get to see the
Runner Up and Honorable Mention items
for today's list, plus much MUCH more.
Join today!
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Selected from 142 submissions from 50 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- Larry Hollister, Concord, CA -- 1, 13 (92nd #1) Hall of Famer
- Ian Dauphinee, Calgary, AB, Canada -- 2, 9
- Curtis Stoddard, Cedar Hills, UT -- 3, 6
- Trish Jensen, Reedsville, PA -- 4
- Danny Gallagher, McKinney, TX -- 5, 11 Website
- Bill Muse, Seattle, WA -- 7 Hall of Famer
- Paul Wiley, Westtown, NY -- 8
- Caryn Kennealy, Glendale, CA -- 8
- Jill Gallagher, Seattle, WA -- 10
- Gideon Griebenow, Johannesburg, S. Africa -- 12
- Reid Kerr, Tyler, TX -- 14 Website
- Brad Simanek, Cedar Rapids, IA -- Topic Website / Hall of Famer
- Elliott Schiff, Allentown, PA -- Banner Tag
- Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Hall of Famer
- Icicle Works, Liverpool, England -- Ambience (explanation)
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© Copyright 1994-2008. All rights reserved.
TopFive.com and The Top 5 List are owned by Chris White.
Absolutely no publishing or reprinting without prior consent.
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