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One small snicker for man, one giant laugh for mankind.
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February 8, 2007
~~~ NOTE FROM CHRIS: ~~~
Two men placed electronic advertising devices around
Boston last week -- a publicity stunt that stirred
fears of terrorism and shut down parts of the city.
Officials found 38 blinking signs promoting the
Cartoon Network TV show "Aqua Teen Hunger Force"
placed on bridges and other high-profile spots.
*We* could have helped them sort it all out.
Here's a handy reference guide...
The Top 13 Signs a Cartoon Character Is a Terrorist
(Part I)
- He's missing a finger on each hand -- probably from making bombs.
- "Will you chase that ghost for a Scooby snack?"
"Ro!"
"Two Scooby Snacks?"
"Ruh-uh."
"If we promise to overthrow the imperialist corporate world by any means necessary?"
"Reah! Reah!"
- Those square pants are ticking.
- The move to Kabul, plus the name change: "Foghorn bin Leghorn."
- "Gee, the current administration's policies sure seem ill-advised and counterproductive to me, Mr. Peabody."
- Mumbles something about "the mother of all pic-i-nic baskets."
- He's got a bushy beard and is always attacking one of our finest sailors because they both want to control Oyl.
- It appears Marcy just strapped a pink missile to Peppermint Patty's crotch.
- Frequent delivery of "ACME HIGHLY-ENRICHED POLONIUM-210" crates to his badlands cave lair, although he has no apparent source of income.
- Only buys a one-way ticket on the pterodactyl to Bedrock.
- He has a brother named Chemical LePew.
- Surfaces in Guantanamo saying, "I knew I shouldn't have made that left turn at al-B'Qurqi!"
and the Number 1 Sign a Cartoon Character Is a Terrorist...
- Picks up his beak, places it back on face and declares, "This means jihad!"
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Selected from 124 submissions from 47 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- Larry Hollister, Concord, CA -- 1, 5, 11 (79th #1/Hat trick!) Hall of Famer
- Colleen Stelmaszek, Houston, TX -- 2, 4
- David Kass, Queens, NY -- 2 Hall of Famer
- Kim Moser, New York, NY -- 2 Hall of Famer
- Patty Herron, Cullman, AL -- 3
- Greg Preece, Toronto, Canada -- 4
- Doug Finney, Houston, TX -- 5
- Jeff Johnson, Los Altos, CA -- 5
- Travis Ruetenik, Hiroshima, Japan -- 5
- Matt Kall, Solon, OH -- 6
- Caryn Kennealy, Glendale, CA -- 6
- Curtis Stoddard, Cedar Hills, UT -- 7
- Bill Muse, Seattle, WA -- 8, 13 Hall of Famer
- Ed Smith, Chattanooga, TN -- 9 Hall of Famer
- David G. Scott, Kansas City, MO -- 10 Website
- Michael Sheinbaum, Guilford, CT -- 12 Website
- Brad Simanek, Cedar Rapids, IA -- Topic Website / Hall of Famer
- Allan Rousselle, Redmond, WA -- Banner Tag
- Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Hall of Famer
- Crack the Sky, Steubenville, OH -- Ambience (explanation)
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TopFive.com and The Top 5 List are owned by Chris White.
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