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Perfect for yoga or Pilates!
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January 25, 2007
~~~ NOTE FROM CHRIS: ~~~
Holy pimples, Batman!
The Top 5 List, born in January
of 1994, has just turned 13 years old!
This is not only unexpected,
it's absolutely *unbelievable*.
Therefore we must mock it!
The Top 14 Signs a Humor List
Is Now a Teenager
(Part I)
- Its font cracks unexpectedly.
- Late-night TV watching has switched from Letterman to Skinemax.
- Shecky Greene posters on clubhouse walls quietly replaced with shots of Farrah Fawcett and Joyce DeWitt.
- Loves to sarcastically mock Paris Hilton, but would faint if she ever passed within 100 feet.
- Swears it's "getting the hell out of here" as soon as it's 18.
- It's been peeking into the Top5 Sex list's windows.
- TopFive might have trouble getting a date for the homecoming dance, but in twenty years ESPN will be fat, sloppy and sitting in a trailer in his underwear.
- First date with collegehumor.com ends in premature rumination.
- The humor is less sophomoric, more sophomoron.
- Mark Foley IMs the moderator to say how amused he gets reading the list, then again to ask what "Top Five" really means.
- Suddenly the friends of sister list Ruminations look a lot less annoying.
- Carries its textbook in front of its pants whenever it's called to the comedy blackboard.
- "Dad, all the other lists have blogs -- why can't I?"
and the Number 1 Sign a Humor List Is Now a Teenager...
- After a week of two-part and 20-plus-entry lists, eats nothing but Dexatrim and passes out in homeroom.
Our ClubTop5 members get to see the
Runner Up and Honorable Mention items
for today's list, plus much MUCH more.
Join today!
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Selected from 106 submissions from 40 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- John Treusch, Burlington, NJ -- 1 (11th #1) Hall of Famer
- Michael Sheinbaum, Guilford, CT -- 2 Website
- Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- 3, Banner Tag
- Marcelo Rinesi, Buenos Aires, Argentina -- 4
- Carl Knorr, Devo City, OH -- 5, 14, Topic Website / Hall of Famer
- Dave Wesley, Pleasant Hill, CA -- 6 Hall of Famer
- Dave Henry, Slidell, LA -- 7 Hall of Famer
- Chuck Smith, Woodbridge, VA -- 7 Hall of Famer
- Gene Dieden, New Haven, CT -- 8
- Brad Hamer, Austin, TX -- 9
- Dave Oberhart, Durham, NC -- 9 Website
- Josh Sinnett, Bellingham, WA -- 9
- Stephanie S. Thompson, Brainerd, MN -- 9
- Colleen Stelmaszek, Houston, TX -- 10
- Larry Hollister, Concord, CA -- 11 Hall of Famer
- Dave Goudsward, Lake Worth, FL -- 12
- John Mozena, Grosse Pointe Woods, MI -- 13
- Matt Kall, Solon, OH -- 14
- Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Hall of Famer
- Britney Spears, Kentwood, LA -- Ambience (explanation)
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© Copyright 1994-2008. All rights reserved.
TopFive.com and The Top 5 List are owned by Chris White.
Absolutely no publishing or reprinting without prior consent.
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