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February 9, 2008
The Top 16 Signs the Apocalypse Is Nigh
- The 22nd Amendment to the US Constitution has just been repealed.
- "Welcome your 2008 World Series Champions, the Chicago Cubs!!!"
- Rev 11:23-25 -- "And it shall come to pass that scribes languish, as the tongues of thespians go silent, and the ancient jests of Leno be endlessly renewed."
- Twelve socks in, thirteen socks out. Do the math.
- The Lions shall lie down for the Lambs. (And by "lambs," we mean "Vikings, Bears and Cowboys.")
- The man who holds the codes to launch America's nuclear weapons doesn't have the brain power to properly pronounce "nuclear."
- In kitchens everywhere, it's hot and cold running blood.
- Dogs and cats aren't just living together in peace and harmony; they're demanding the state recognize them as married couples.
- Men's room stances are 38 percent wider than ever before.
- Bush administration quoted as saying, "Acopalypse is a long way off."
- Your Tom-Tom announces "Right turn. Now approaching -- Apocalypse."
- France decides it's finally had enough and invades Belgium.
- Jeff Probst is scouting locations in your neighborhood, and Jim Cantore just pulled up behind him in a slicker with a camera crew.
- Giant locusts are in your parking spot again -- and the Marketing Department is out of town at a conference.
- The cockroaches are building little tiny bleachers from which to watch.
and the Number 1 Sign the Apocalypse Is Nigh...
- The words "GAME OVER" span the entire sky.
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Selected from 104 submissions from 38 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- Elliott Schiff, Allentown, PA -- 1 (9th #1)
- Andrea Crain, Madison, WI -- 2 Website
- Daniel Weckerly, Limerick, PA -- 3, 10 Hall of Famer
- John Mozena, Grosse Pointe Woods, MI -- 4
- Curtis Stoddard, Cedar Hills, UT -- 5
- Jim Rosenberg, Greensboro, NC -- 6 Hall of Famer
- Bill Muse, Seattle, WA -- 7 Hall of Famer
- Travis Ruetenik, Hiroshima, Japan -- 8
- Andrew Hackard, Austin, TX -- 9
- Danny Gallagher, McKinney, TX -- 9, Topic Website
- Josh Sinnett, Bellingham, WA -- 11
- David G. Scott, Kansas City, MO -- 12 Website
- Jody LaFerriere, Leominster, MA -- 13 Website
- Larry Hollister, Concord, CA -- 14 Hall of Famer
- Jill Gallagher, Seattle, WA -- 15
- Dennis Koho, Keizer, OR -- 16 Website / Hall of Famer
- Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- Banner Tag
- Kim Walker-Daniels, Madison, WI -- List moderator
- Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Hall of Famer
- Barry McGuire, Oklahoma City, OK -- Ambience (explanation)
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TopFive.com and The Top 5 List are owned by Chris White.
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