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12 steps to a less trembly, less stinky you!
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July 16, 2007
~~~ NOTE FROM CHRIS: ~~~
Monday's lists are going out late because our
servers were down for a good part of the day Monday.
Everything's seems to be fine now, though.
But do you even care? Does anybody actually READ these
little notes I put up here, or do you just skip on down
to the list itself? More importantly: If an Internet
humor magnate shouts via e-mail, is there a sound?
Anyhoo...
Top5 Kids archives
Subscribe to the Little Fiver lists!
The Top 15 Signs You're Having a Lousy Summer
- Right after the opening credits of the new Harry Potter movie, Harry looks out into the audience, curses you by name, and orders the management escort you from the theater so you can't enjoy the rest of the movie.
- Your "character-building" chore for the summer? Potty training your little sister.
- After waiting in line for days for the new Iphone, you find this has really set you back in the line for the new Harry Potter book.
- With all of your schoolmates on vacation or away at camp, you've had to resort to kicking your own butt.
- Instead of doing something truly awesome, you're stuck at home reading... well, THIS.
- Your imaginary friends went to Hawaii for vacation and didn't invite you.
- You finally got the mechanics of your girls softball league fast-pitch delivery absolutely perfect, and you've started... umm... "blossoming."
- You conducted a successful panty raid on the girls' camp, but nobody told you that you weren't supposed to wear them afterward.
- Your dad failed to mention that, during your daily "father-son nature hikes," you'd be carrying his golf clubs.
- You told your parents you wanted to spend the summer surrounded by sun and sand, so they shipped you off to work on a camel ranch in the middle of the Sahara Desert.
- Two words: opera camp.
- Your lemonade stand was a huge success with the neighborhood moms, until your dad found out you used up all of his best vodka.
- After dozens of six-block sprints, you still haven't learned that not every white van is an ice cream truck.
- The only parts of your body not covered by poison ivy are those covered by poison oak.
and the Number 1 Sign You're Having a Lousy Summer...
- Thanks to a broken school bell, you've been sitting in homeroom, waiting to be dismissed -- for two months.
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Selected from 69 submissions from 25 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- David Kass, Queens, NY -- 1, 14 (51st #1) Hall of Famer
- Mark Weiss, Austin, TX -- 2 Hall of Famer
- Lori Petterson, Fairfax, VA -- 3, 13
- Terry Ramsdell, Ann Arbor, MI -- 4
- Douglas Frank, Crosby, TX -- 5, 11, Banner Tag
- Steve Hurd, Oakland, CA -- 6 Hall of Famer
- Tom Stoudt, Fort Washington, PA -- 7 Hall of Famer
- Kim Moser, New York, NY -- 8 Hall of Famer
- Stephen A. Segall, Poplar Bluff, MO -- 9
- Dave Wesley, Pleasant Hill, CA -- 10, 15 Hall of Famer
- Brandon Eldridge, St. Louis, MO -- 12
- Kevin Wickart, Normal, IL -- List moderator, Topic Website
- Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Hall of Famer
- Sly and the Family Stone, San Francisco, CA -- Ambience (explanation)
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TopFive.com and The Top 5 List are owned by Chris White.
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