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The lifestyle magazine for today's cannibal.
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January 8, 2008
~~~ NOTE FROM CHRIS: ~~~
Today's list was compiled from submissions sent
in by our lonely and talented ClubTop5 members.
The Top 13 Signs You're Not All That Green
(Part II)
- You brown out half of New Jersey when you plug in your outdoor Christmas decorations.
- Another hole in the ozone layer appears every time you successfully execute the "pull my finger" joke.
- You prefer to leave the fridge door open instead of running the air conditioner.
- The "green" aspects of your geothermally heated hot tub are somewhat negated by your importing lava from Iceland.
- You were the only individual asked to sign the Kyoto Protocol.
- You fly in the performers to "do it" in front of you instead of just surfing for free X-rated clips.
- You commute in a Smart Car -- from the bedroom to the den.
- The dials on your house's electric meter spin so fast, the power company uses them to generate wind energy.
- It is actually rather *easy* being you.
- Your household recycling consists of a couple of dogs that eat their own vomit.
- Showering with a friend sounds like a noble water-conservation effort, but it's not like the warden gave you a choice.
- You insist on having your Christmas cards delivered by courier. And Ives.
and the Number 1 Sign You're Not All That Green...
- Your new take on Turducken: a California condor stuffed with a bald eagle stuffed with a spotted owl.
Our ClubTop5 members get to see the
Runner Up and Honorable Mention items
for today's list, plus much MUCH more.
Join today!
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Selected from 322 submissions from 171 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- Randy Lee, Burke, VA -- 1 (Woohoo!)
- Steve Fey, Henderson, NV -- 2
- Bob Cradock, Madison, WI -- 3
- Jeff Rothal, whereabouts unknown -- 4
- Chris Kuan, whereabouts unknown -- 5
- Mike Frihart, Tulsa, OK -- 6
- Edward Hyer, Monterey, CA -- 7
- Mitchell Senft, Cortlandt Manor, NY -- 8
- Chris Reynolds, Toronto, Canada -- 8
- Michael Corey, whereabouts unknown -- 9
- James Rice, North Tustin, CA -- 10
- Seth Grenald, Santa Monica, CA -- 11
- James Knowles, Bellingham, WA -- 12
- Donna Burton, Schenectady, NY -- 13
- Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- Banner Tag
- Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Hall of Famer
- Beyonce, Houston, TX -- Ambience (explanation)
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© Copyright 1994-2008. All rights reserved.
TopFive.com and The Top 5 List are owned by Chris White.
Absolutely no publishing or reprinting without prior consent.
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