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August 25, 2008
~~~ NOTE FROM CHRIS: ~~~
A Japanese labor bureau ruled recently that one
of Toyota's top car engineers died from working
too many hours. This is one in a string of such
findings in a nation where extraordinarily long
hours has long been the norm for some employees.
The Top 17 Signs You're Working Too Hard
- Your job in 2007: opening Starbucks stores.
Your job in 2008: closing Starbucks stores.
- Last week alone, you put two robots out of work.
- Everyone comments on the artistic nature of your Leaning Tower of Empty Cup Noodles.
- You keep dozing off at your job at the meth lab.
- You desperately want to spend more time with your kids, so you hire them as interns.
- Your "vacation" this summer? Telecommuting from home -- but you wore shorts!
- You get a bad case of tennis elbow -- because of your job as a fluffer.
- Your boss even refuses to give you time off to attend your own funeral.
- Prescriptions filled today: 300
rescriptions filled incorrectly out of spite: 78
- You drop the kids off at daycare on the way in, and pick them up from junior high on the way home.
- Satan suggests you take a water break.
- Three people buried to death since your hair started falling out. (Amy Winehouse only)
- You've somehow managed to convince yourself the evening traffic *finally* eases up around 1:00 a.m.
- In what might be a first, your company fired all those overpaid bastards in Bangalore and "insourced" the entire operation to you.
- Your unborn child is diagnosed with carpal tunnel syndrome.
- You can no longer tell the difference between your cubicle's Mountain Dew bottles and urine-filled Mountain Dew bottles.
and the Number 1 Sign You're Working Too Hard...
- Your wife now goes to couples therapy with her vibrator.
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Selected from 114 submissions from 42 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- Lev L. Spiro, Los Angeles, CA -- 1 (34th #1) Hall of Famer
- Tom Stoudt, Fort Washington, PA -- 2, 3 Hall of Famer
- Jill Gallagher, Seattle, WA -- 2
- Larry Hollister, Concord, CA -- 4, 5 Hall of Famer
- Dave Wesley, Pleasant Hill, CA -- 6, 7 Hall of Famer
- Douglas Frank, Crosby, TX -- 8, Topic
- Brandon Eldridge, St. Louis, MO -- 9
- Brad Hamer, Austin, TX -- 10
- Dave Henry, Slidell, LA -- 11, Banner Tag Hall of Famer
- Paul Wiley, Westtown, NY -- 12
- Dawson Rambo, Santa Rosa, CA -- 13
- Dave Goudsward, Lake Worth, FL -- 14
- Caryn Kennealy, Glendale, CA -- 14
- Travis Ruetenik, Hiroshima, Japan -- 15
- Bill Muse, Seattle, WA -- 16 Hall of Famer
- Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- 17
- Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Hall of Famer
- Etta Jones, Aiken, SC -- Ambience (explanation)
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© Copyright 1994-2008. All rights reserved.
TopFive.com and The Top 5 List are owned by Chris White.
Absolutely no publishing or reprinting without prior consent.
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