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It's everywhere you want to pee.
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November 13, 2007
~~~ NOTE FROM CHRIS: ~~~
A new Georgia Tech study says some Roomba owners
become emotionally attached to the robotic vacuum.
Some have named them, dressed them -— even introduced
them to parents. ("Honey, we really need to have a
talk about your new boyfriend. He... well, he sucks.")
The Top 12 Signs You've Become
Too Involved With an Appliance
- You keep the microwave's clock set to the exact hour and minute you first spotted it in the Best Buy Scratch 'n' Dent section.
- Ninety percent of your body is covered with *perfectly* round hickeys.
- Your refrigerator is wearing a tiger-print thong and assless chaps.
- Every time you walk by your fax machine, it spits out another copy of the restraining order telling you to stay 500 feet away.
- You saved a lock of its first carpet lint in a scrapbook.
- The Radio Shack guys start stacking up the boxes of D-cells as soon as you pull up outside.
- "Do you, Frank, take serial #57-44521RV, to have and to hold..."
- Sure, some people throw a toaster in the tub when it's plugged in, but *you* leave it unplugged so it can safely enjoy the scent of the lavender bubble beads you bought it.
- When the UPS guy brought it to your house, you videotaped the delivery.
- It's stored in a velvet-lined cabinet that's rigged to play Ravel's "Bolero" whenever the door is opened.
- Your doodle pad's covered with experimental "Mrs. Coffee" signatures.
and the Number 1 Sign You've Become Too Involved With an Appliance...
- Look, it's really quite simple: You're too involved if you put something of yours inside it or vice-versa. Are we clear?
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Selected from 99 submissions from 37 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- Jim Rosenberg, Greensboro, NC -- 1 (36th #1) Hall of Famer
- Larry Hollister, Concord, CA -- 2 Hall of Famer
- Pam Wylder, Bloomington, IL -- 3
- Danny Gallagher, McKinney, TX -- 4, 8 Website
- Brandon Eldridge, St. Louis, MO -- 5
- John Mozena, Grosse Pointe Woods, MI -- 6, 7
- Bill Muse, Seattle, WA -- 8 Hall of Famer
- Richard Skora, Columbus, OH -- 9
- Dave Goudsward, Lake Worth, FL -- 10
- Steve Huntington, San Jose, CA -- 11
- Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA -- 12 Website / Hall of Famer
- Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- Banner Tag
- Michael Cunningham, Woodridge, IL -- List moderator
- Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Hall of Famer
- Queen, London, England -- Ambience (explanation)
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TopFive.com and The Top 5 List are owned by Chris White.
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