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Edges light quickly.
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October 14, 2005
~~~ NOTE FROM CHRIS: ~~~
Tom Cruise is pregnant! Or more precisely,
fiancee Katie Holmes is. But we've all
heard those persistent rumors about Tom.
How can we know for sure if the baby's his?
The Top 13 Signs It's Tom Cruise's Child
- Hops up and down in Mom's uterus at the sound of Oprah's voice.
- Baby's first sonogram raked in $57 million on its opening weekend.
- Mothership recently seen hovering over Katie Holmes' house.
- Hangs by his umbilical cord inches above the floor.
- The baby booties have 2-inch lifts.
- Baby tells mom: "You had me at conception."
- "Dada"? No. "Dadanetics!"
- Pukes all over Brooke Shields on national TV.
- Like Dad, baby also has a beard... on his arm.
- Instead of crying when hungry, he screams, "Show me the nipple!"
- "You're glib, Elmo. You don't know Cookie Monster. You haven't studied Cookie Monster. I have. I know the truth behind Cookie Monster."
- Slides around the kitchen in his Huggies, lip-syncing to the Wiggles.
and the Number 1 Sign It's Tom Cruise's Child...
- "I feel the need. The need... to pee."
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Selected from 111 submissions from 37 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- Bruce W. Alter, Fairfax Station, VA -- 1 (3rd #1)
- Andrew Hackard, Austin, TX -- 2
- Carl Knorr, Devo City, OH -- 3, 5, Banner Tag Hall of Famer
- Daniel Weckerly, Limerick, PA -- 3, 13 Hall of Famer
- Michael Cunningham, Woodridge, IL -- 4
- Brad Simanek, Cedar Rapids, IA -- 4 Website / Hall of Famer
- Geoff Brown, Commerce, MI -- 6 Website / Hall of Famer
- Steve Hurd, Oakland, CA -- 7 Hall of Famer
- David Kass, Queens, NY -- 8 Hall of Famer
- Bill Muse, Seattle, WA -- 9, 10 Hall of Famer
- Kevin Freels, Walnut Creek, CA -- 11 Website / Hall of Famer
- David W. James, Los Angeles, CA -- 12 Website / Hall of Famer
- J.J. Gertler, Arlington, VA -- Topic
- Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Hall of Famer
- Toby Keith, Clinton, OK -- Ambience (explanation)
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TopFive.com and The Top 5 List are owned by Chris White.
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