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A frothy mug of wholesome comedic goodness!
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July 2, 2007
The Top 15 Surprise Features of the iPhone
(Part I)
- iBank app tracks how many organs you'll need to sell to pay off the cost of it.
- Keeps popping up messages give you the address of someone named Sara Conners.
- Reassurance Generator application continually reminds you that you are indeed smarter *and* cooler than a Windows user.
- Continuous GPS monitoring of Paris Hilton.
- When the new iPhone model comes out in six months, you can put this one under the short leg of a table to make it perfectly level.
- Renders certain other hand-held devices inoperable with "Blackberry Jam" feature.
- Flipped upside down, it doubles as a Fleshlight.
- Plus: Beatles ringtones put money in Paul McCartney's pocket. Minus: Beatles ringtones put money in Yoko Ono's pocket.
- Tghe toiuchsxcreenb keytpadf isd reaslklyt accuyraterf abnd eadsy toi usre.
- Comes pre-loaded with naked pictures of Peter Jackson, Kevin Smith and the cast of "Star Trek: The Next Generation."
- iEyeMe feature provides a separate hand-held mirror so you can admire yourself using your iPhone, you groovy geek, you!
- Everyone invited to come to Steve Jobs' compound for free Kool-Aid. Or else.
- For some reason, calls made with the new iVideoPhone feature always show a close-up of the calling party's inner ear.
- Comes with a trophy stand so it'll look great next to your CB radio, quadrophonic 8-track and laser disc player next year.
and the Number 1 Surprise Features of the iPhone...
- Automatically dials 911 whenever those mean PC bullies kick your dweeby ass.
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Selected from 91 submissions from 33 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- Peter Bauer, Rochester, NY -- 1 (29th #1) Hall of Famer
- Douglas Frank, Crosby, TX -- 2
- Kim Moser, New York, NY -- 3 Hall of Famer
- Richard Skora, Columbus, OH -- 4, 10, Topic
- Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA -- 5, 15 Website / Hall of Famer
- Caryn Kennealy, Glendale, CA -- 6
- Joseph Prisco, Ithaca, NY -- 7 Website
- Steve Huntington, San Jose, CA -- 8
- Brandon Eldridge, St. Louis, MO -- 9
- David G. Scott, Kansas City, MO -- 11 Website
- David Kass, Queens, NY -- 12 Hall of Famer
- Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- 13
- Ed Smith, Chattanooga, TN -- 14 Hall of Famer
- Donald Junter, New Haven, CT -- Banner Tag
- Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Hall of Famer
- Shabba Ranks, Sturgetown, Jamaica -- Ambience (explanation)
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TopFive.com and The Top 5 List are owned by Chris White.
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