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Where annoying happens.
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November 15, 2007
~~~ NOTE FROM CHRIS: ~~~
Two men attempted to blackmail the British royal
family by demanding $100,000 for a videotape showing
Princes William and Harry having sex and taking drugs.
Sex and drugs? That's it? Surely there must be more!
The Top 16 Surprises in the Royal Family Blackmail Video
- The royal kitchen? Kosher.
- Prince Harry wooing a paramour with "Once you go inbred, you'll never leave MY bed."
- The tape actually shows several designated servants participating in drug-fueled sex while the princes lounge nearby.
- Prince Harry walking around in his Gryffindor underwear.
- The crown jewels, in the hands of a commoner!
- Who knew Windsor Castle had *that* kind of dungeon?
- "And if they find out we're all just figureheads, they--- HEY, SHUT OFF THAT BLOODY CAMERA!"
- If you play the video backwards, you can clearly hear Princess Diana say, "I raised you boys better than this."
- Prince William can be linked through just five blackmail videos to Kevin Bacon.
- Apparently, for 50 quid you can get a lass dressed as Hermione Granger to beat your bum with a wand.
- It's actually a "British Royal Family with a Black Male" video.
- "Bawmp-chicka-bow-wow" music replaced with "Yakety Sax."
- Sir Paul getting Her Majesty to down a bellyful of wine.
- Screech makes a cameo appearance -– and Paris Hilton *doesn't*.
- Turns out the phrase "His Royal Highness" refers to something else entirely.
and the Number 1 Surprise in the Royal Family Blackmail Video...
- Prince Harry, meet Prince Albert.
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Selected from 112 submissions from 40 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- Andrew Hackard, Austin, TX -- 1 (13th #1)
- Brad Hamer, Austin, TX -- 2, 11
- Bill Muse, Seattle, WA -- 3, 15 Hall of Famer
- Danny Gallagher, McKinney, TX -- 3 Website
- David Kass, Queens, NY -- 4, 13 Hall of Famer
- Carl Knorr, Devo City, OH -- 5 Website / Hall of Famer
- Lori Petterson, Fairfax, VA -- 5
- Douglas Frank, Crosby, TX -- 6
- Fred Hesby, Portland, OR -- 7 Website
- Jeff Rabinowitz, Wilkes-Barre, PA -- 8
- Mark Weiss, Austin, TX -- 9 Hall of Famer
- Paul Wiley, Westtown, NY -- 10
- Stephen A. Segall, Poplar Bluff, MO -- 12
- Curtis Stoddard, Cedar Hills, UT -- 14
- Bruce W. Alter, Fairfax Station, VA -- 16
- Caryn Kennealy, Glendale, CA -- Banner Tag
- Yoram Puius, N. Attleboro, MA -- List moderator
- Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Hall of Famer
- Spin Doctors, New York, NY -- Ambience (explanation)
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TopFive.com and The Top 5 List are owned by Chris White.
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