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July 2, 2008
~~~ NOTE FROM CHRIS: ~~~
Bill Gates has officially cleaned out his
desk and stepped down from his Microsoft gig.
It's about time that nerd got a real job
and stopped mooching off his parents!
But seriously, folks...
The Top 15 Things Found in Bill Gates's Desk
- A frame holding the first $1 billion he made.
- Those compromising pictures of Janet Reno that ultimately saved Microsoft's monopolistic bacon.
- iPhone, iBook, Airbook, iPod, etc.
- "Past Due" notices from Hell's Souls Receivable Department.
- A copy of "Home Haircuts for Dummies."
- $863,979.42 in loose change.
- Crumpled copy of Al Gore's patent on the Internet.
- A copy of Machiavelli's "The Prince," an IOU from Pope Benedict XVI, Jimmy Hoffa's wristwatch and some Skittles.
- God's cell phone number.
- Memo to Microsoft employees now allowing consumption of apples and Big Macs.
- His old cardboard "Will Compute for Food" sign.
- Steve Jobs' life force -- and damn if it didn't get out of the bottle again!
- The title deed to Liechtenstein.
- Unsent letter to girl who spurned him in 10th grade, written on back of bank statement.
and the Number 1 Thing Found in Bill Gates's Desk...
- Severed limbs of the Microsoft product developer who wrote the original specifications for Windows Vista.
Our ClubTop5 members get to see the
Runner Up and Honorable Mention items
for today's list, plus much MUCH more.
Join today!
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Selected from 88 submissions from 32 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- John Mozena, Grosse Pointe Woods, MI -- 1, 12 (21st #1)
- Larry Hollister, Concord, CA -- 1 (91st #1) Hall of Famer
- Bill Muse, Seattle, WA -- 2, 11 Hall of Famer
- Jill Gallagher, Seattle, WA -- 3, 10
- Brad Simanek, Cedar Rapids, IA -- 3, 14 Website / Hall of Famer
- Reid Kerr, Tyler, TX -- 3 Website
- Carl Knorr, Devo City, OH -- 4 Website / Hall of Famer
- Michael Cunningham, Woodridge, IL -- 5
- Randy Lee, Burke, VA -- 6
- Richard Skora, Columbus, OH -- 7, Topic
- Douglas Frank, Crosby, TX -- 8, 15
- Daniel Weckerly, Limerick, PA -- 9 Hall of Famer
- Kevin Wickart, Normal, IL -- 10, 12 Website
- Dave Goudsward, Lake Worth, FL -- 10
- David Zechiel, Lake Forest, CA -- 12
- Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- 13
- Matt Kall, Solon, OH -- 15
- Donald Junter, New Haven, CT -- Banner Tag
- Trish Jensen, Reedsville, PA -- List moderator
- Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Hall of Famer
- Jason & the Scorchers, Nashville, TN -- Ambience (explanation)
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