November 1, 2007
~~~ NOTE FROM CHRIS: ~~~
A Russian woman recently gave birth to a 17-pound
baby -- and TopFive's microphones were there!
The Top 15 Things Heard at
the Delivery of the 17-Pound Baby
(Part I)
- "Call the fire department -- I think we need the jaws of life."
- "You two hold it up so I can spank it!"
- "Quick, pick up the baby! The doctor can't breathe."
- "The name? We were going with Nikolai, but now we're thinking Hagrid."
- "The ultrasound clearly showed twins. I'll bet this one *ate* the other one."
- "Nurse, call the anesthesiologist and tell him to prepare the Robert Downey, Jr. Special painkiller."
- "Congratulations, it's a girl. And you really don't want to know where that echo is coming from."
- "That settles it; no more weekends in Chernobyl!"
- "Funny, that hole in the birthing room wall is shaped just like the wet nurse."
- "You might want to skip the nipple and go directly to feeding this one borscht."
- "You're dilated 16 inches! Almost there!"
- "We'll wait until he gets a bit older to surgically remove the trunk and tail."
- "Congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. Shamu -- it's a boy."
- "Hi, I'm Yashima Tanaka, Japan's greatest -- and fastest, I might add -- sumo agent."
and the Number 1 Thing Heard at the Delivery of the 17-Pound Baby...
- "Nadya, how could you?!? Vhy you have American baby?!?"
Our ClubTop5 members get to see the
Runner Up and Honorable Mention items
for today's list, plus much MUCH more.
Join today!
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Selected from 125 submissions from 48 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- Brad Wilkerson, Mesa, AZ -- 1, 6 (9th #1)
- Caryn Kennealy, Glendale, CA -- 1 (6th #1)
- Dave Wesley, Pleasant Hill, CA -- 2 Hall of Famer
- Danny Gallagher, McKinney, TX -- 3 Website
- Lori Petterson, Fairfax, VA -- 4, 8, 9 (Hat trick!)
- Larry Hollister, Concord, CA -- 5 Hall of Famer
- Andrew Thomas, Shrewsbury, MA -- 7, 11
- Dave Goudsward, Lake Worth, FL -- 8, 9
- John Mozena, Grosse Pointe Woods, MI -- 10
- Nathan C. Sherman, Bellevue, WA -- 12
- Terry Ramsdell, Ann Arbor, MI -- 13
- Douglas Frank, Crosby, TX -- 14
- Brandon Eldridge, St. Louis, MO -- 15
- Brad Simanek, Cedar Rapids, IA -- Banner Tag Website / Hall of Famer
- Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Hall of Famer
- The Penguin Cafe Orchestra, Sussex, England -- Ambience (explanation)
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