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Humorizing America's workplace, one cubicle at a time.
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August 14, 2007
~~~ NOTE FROM CHRIS: ~~~
Karlvis has left the building!
Much admired/reviled presidential aide
Karl Rove decided to step down, leaving his
post as White House deputy chief of staff.
So what's up next for "Bush's Brain"?
The Top 18 Things on Karl Rove's To-Do List
- Tidy up the area behind the curtain.
- Take a well-deserved vacation. Running the entire government is daunting work!
- Spend more time outing Joe Wilson's family.
- Cite executive privilege to go to the front of the line for every ride at Six Flags.
- Have George W. issue full pardons now, since it'll be politically awkward later.
- Call Chicago Pizza Hut. Order 3000 pizzas. Give Fitzgerald's name and address.
- Mount Bambi's Mom.
- Push for Special White House assignment to research non-extradition countries that welcome pasty, pudgy dweebs.
- Take Scooter for a little ride in the boat.
- Subvert homeowners' association constitution, just to stay in practice.
- Make it up to Valerie Plame by offering to "in" her.
- Begin campaign to close down all those wasteful, unnecessary federal white-collar prisons.
- Master the ratio of puppy noses to still-beating bunny hearts and finally win that damned Texas State Chili Cookoff.
- Make sure George knows EXACTLY how Cheney likes his happy endings.
- Open chain of Turdblossom Family Buffet restaurants.
- Start writing book: "If I Did It: How I Might Have Revealed Valerie Plame's Identity."
- Hey, that new iPhone's not going to wiretap itself!
and the Number 1 Thing on Karl Rove's To-Do List...
- Secretly continue working on the Death Star plans with Darth Cheney.
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Selected from 123 submissions from 46 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- Richard Skora, Columbus, OH -- 1, 12 (14th #1)
- Paul Wiley, Westtown, NY -- 1 (7th #1)
- John J. Brassil, Nashville, TN -- 2, 10
- L. A. Bettencourtt, Macon, GA -- 3, 14
- Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA -- 4 Website / Hall of Famer
- Um... Anonymous, Anytown, CA -- 5
- Carl Knorr, Devo City, OH -- 6 Website / Hall of Famer
- Ed Smith, Chattanooga, TN -- 7, 11 Hall of Famer
- Brad Simanek, Cedar Rapids, IA -- 8, Topic Website / Hall of Famer
- J.J. Gertler, Alexandria, VA -- 9, 13
- Trish Jensen, Reedsville, PA -- 14
- Dennis Koho, Keizer, OR -- 14 Website / Hall of Famer
- Tom Stoudt, Fort Washington, PA -- 15 Hall of Famer
- David Kass, Queens, NY -- 16 Hall of Famer
- Douglas Frank, Crosby, TX -- 17
- Bruce W. Alter, Fairfax Station, VA -- 18
- Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- Banner Tag
- Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Hall of Famer
- The Rolling Stones, London, England -- Ambience (explanation)
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TopFive.com and The Top 5 List are owned by Chris White.
Absolutely no publishing or reprinting without prior consent.
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